Mountians O Things

iPod, Kayak, Skis, Running Shoes, Bikes, Computer, Camera, Wheels. These are the things I think I need, you know, for happiness. The good news is they are things I already have. There aren't tons of things lingering just outside my grasp that I desire.

There's a saying, "Desire everything, need nothing." Things aren't bad and neither is wanting them, but I've been hearing a lot about people losing things lately-- being stripped of their possessions, or their health, seeing their life draining away. It has me thinking a lot about what it is I really do need.

I keep boxes of images torn from magazines for collaging etc. Some I can't bear to "use", wanting to keep them. On the left is a guy and his family in Africa. I think there are like twelve people in his family. (If you click to enlarge you may be able to read the deets) That little wicker shack is their house. They disassemble it and move it around. He looks happy.

On the left is a little kid I'm guessing doesn't have a pot to piss in. Look at that blue paint, those butterfly's. Nice freebie shot of joy huh? He looks happy too, even if it's just for a few minutes.

I "needed" new running shoes last week. Mine are shot. There are holes in the uppers and the cushioning is gone, making my tibia hurt more. Can you believe, the store I get my shoes at sends your old ones over to Africa? That there, someone like that guy with the wicker fold-up house will be thrilled to get my old worn out running shoes?

Yesterday I dropped Jez off at a gallery. When I left I took a good long look at her. It's possible I'll never see her again. I told my dad I'm super glad there are people out there who feel the need to own art. They make it possible for me to have a job doing art, but I'm weirdly not one of them. I love it, love seeing it, but don't have to possess it. Maybe it's because it's inside me. Not sure.

Last fall I super wanted this coat. I made other choices and it didn't happen. My life continued unaffected by not acquiring the cool coat.

Once a long time ago I walked away from everything to gain my independence. I literally had nothing. It was day to day where I'd sleep or what I'd eat, if anything. That is way different than having everything taken from you-- it was my choice, but still it was pivotal for me. I've looked around ever since evaluating-- What do I really need? What do I really want? What do I choose? What's of value?

Preserving inner capacities is huge for me. Feeling there are still spaces in you waiting to be filled with wonder, thrills-- The feeling that the world is still an amazing, surprising place. That's one thing I need.

Connectivity is probably the most important thing I need. When I was younger I thought training myself to need nothing, and noONE would make me stronger, so I hardened myself for a while. but became like those dogs who are afraid of everything, acting scary to protect themselves. Now I know-- I need connections to animals, and to people, to pull the love through me into the world. It's for me, and for the world. It's the way it's supposed to be.

It's important to notice things. I need to stop time sometimes and just go, "This, now-- remember this." When I'm 90 will the grass feel the same on the underside of my foot? I bet it will. I bet inside I'll still feel like me.

I know this post has meandered a bit, but right now I think it's good to take stock. What are some of the things you really need? What are the things that would sustain you if everything was stripped away?