"Mission Accomplished" (and not in that lame___ "Bush league" way)

We need to take that saying back people. Who's with me?

Why am I so peppy at 11:18 p.m. you ask? Because I just got done writing for the last two and a half hours or so and totally reworked the last scene of that duddy chapter I beat out yesterday and now it's awesome. Rabbit hole, once again, found. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Hubby wishes my keyboard had a silencer. Nothing a couple of earplugs won't fix.
So back. This rocks.

Looking Forward (to finding the rabbit hole again)

Feeling a little Spoon-y today. Scoll down in the player and check out "Something To Look Forward To." Good old Brit Daniels-- "Your mistakes, Your merciless eye, Your Chicago Manual (oh) of Style..."

Wrote yesterday, pretty much all day, but frustratingly missed the rabbit hole. I haven't been good about making sure I'm writing every single day come hell or high water or being swamped with other art "biz." When you get taken out of your story world that's what happens. So probably ninety percent of what happened yesterday will go into the "Cuts" folder, or get revised beyond all recognition, but that's ok. It's all process (and penance).

Good John LeCarre quote today on the Writers on Writing podcast (See literary links)
"The cat sat on his mat is not a story. The cat sat on someone else's mat is."

"Eau Galle"

This was the name of an actual place in Wisconsin I drove by today. I had some art business to attend to over in Eau Claire (Eau -- wouldn't you just know it?). The sculpture pictured left (click on photo for a better look), "Full Bloom", needed a base welded to her feet. She's one of my fav's and lives in the most idyllic setting; in a beautiful perennial garden surrounding a lovely pool, overlooking a pasture of horses bordered by tall pines. It's very gratifying to see a piece being so appreciated and enjoyed by its owners. I look forward to getting the same high from people one day reading my words too.

Trusty Pam accompanied me (we aren't actually a couple, but our husbands let us go out and play pretty often). When we saw the sign for "Eau Galle", all conversation screeched to a halt as we simultaneously burst into bucktoothed goofy grins shouting "Eau Gaulle" repeatedly. (Unrepentant dorks, we also ding our bike bells when riding through tunnels and shout "WEE!" when going downhill...)

No writery things happened today other than in my head, but if you ever get over to Eau CLaire, (Eau my!) check out the Chippewa River State Trail. Nice ride.

"Jinx!"

Once again the kids at stereogum are totally copying me... Click the link for another Michel Gondry story.

Gratutious Foo Posting

The Foo Fighters were formed around ten years ago when Dave Grohl, the drummer from Nirvana, struck out on his own after the death of Curt Cobain. Now I have to admit, I kind of have a thing for them. They win the "band I'd most like to beat at pingpong contest". I really think our coolness to dorkiness quotients match up nicely and we should start hanging out. (My story is chock full of music references including my beloved Foo's.)

This video (youtube wouldn't let it post directly. Just click the link.) isn't nearly as funny without my subtitles and amusing commentary, but it is Michel Gondry (Eternal sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Science of Sleep, and one of the weirdest and most disturbingly hilarious shorts ever starring David Cross (slow Donnie from "Just Shoot Me") as a hunk of Micheal's feces...) and therefore awesome.
(The blond girl in this video is the band's drummer Taylor Hawkins, one of the prettiest dudes I've ever seen.)

Check out the Foo's in the player. There's not a dud in the bunch if you're into straight ahead bangin' rock, and by all means check out Micheal Goundry's amazingly imaginative films (he's also done videos for The White Stripes, Bjork, and others).

Today will be spent querying, writing, tearing voraciously into an awesome new (to me) lit journal I've discovered (look for a review coming soon), and trying to resist giving myself another self-inflicted haircut wound to the head.

Into the great wide open

Both the completed story I'm querying and the one I'm still writing deal with the paranormal. Some of the characters are more comfortable with this than others, reflecting my own feelings. I've had some pretty freaky experiences, and always been fascinated with that other world, but still have a very sceptical side. I'm very conflicted about this. On one hand I have to believe, and do, in that unseen world, but there's a stubborn resistance in me that compulsively analyzes any "cosmic" experiences I have, trying to rationalize them.

Lately I've been experimenting with my dreams, trying to gain insight. I've had many vivid dreams, some seemingly prescient, a couple very trippy out of body ones. The other night I went "in" with the intention of asking for guidance about my writing and had a dream that I was in a workshop with other writers and an agent and her assistant.

When it was my turn to "pitch", it flopped. Even as the words were leaving my mouth I knew it sucked. The agent and assistant took me back to their office and went over my material and gave me advice about how to tweak my query -- not change my story -- but bring some other elements of it forward that would make my pitch more appealing and reveal the true heart of the story. Cosmic intervention? My sceptic and true believer are still duking it out, but I'm revising my query.

Full of Spoon lovin'

Spoon is an Austin Tx band founded by Britt Daniel who writes all the lyrics, and drummer Jim Eno who is responsible for their distinctive sound (via his innovative recording techniques).

Spoon is one of the most literary bands I've heard lately. Brit mixes lines like, "we seek out the taciturn" with "you bought a new bag of pot, so let's make a new start." Smart, but not in your face "look how smart I am" smart.

I am dying to begin editing what I have so far in my new story, but am forcing myself to forge ahead. One of the many things I'll be taking a hard look at is letting my research come through, but not scream, "look at all the research I've done." Smart, but not in your face smart. Keep the story, and characters on center stage. I suppose if I have actually become "smart" about my subject it should be self-evident right?

Enjoy Buster Keaton's antics in this video and check out more Spoon in the playlist. These guys are indie after Electra put out their second album, failed to promote it, then dropped them for low sales figures. Sound like a familiar tune authors? Buy their music if you like it.

Life still dealing from the metaphor deck...

Cosmic metaphor #1 -- Went on another lung-busting run on the mountain bike course with trusty Pam, but had to abort mission due to a nasty rock-induced foot blister. As we crashed through the underbrush towards the road and a shorter way out I stumbled (literally) across a rusty old cultivator disc. Those familiar with my art know what a great score that is. You'd think rusy old crap would just be lying all over the place, but it's not. Conclusion; even apparent defeat can produce unexpected pleasing results. Sometimes you're thrown off course for a reason.

Cosmic metaphor #2 -- Met up with my healer friend Cathy who shared with me how a heron that was hanging around her place, often within feet of her, seemed to be sent to teach her to be patient; if you learn patience, things will come in time. She observed how the bird hunted for fish, standing very still and letting the fish come to him, over and over.

I'm in the process of sculpting a large heron right now, and also being very impatient about the process of trying to find an agent. I'm not quite down with "just waiting", but perhaps something has been set in motion I'm unaware of. "Pray you'll catch the bus, but run like hell" is kind of my motto. Still kind of a cool heron-laden coincidence.

The hardest button

"I had opinions, that didn't matter, I had a brain, that felt like pancake batter. I got a backyard, with nothin' in it, except a stick, a dog and a box with somethin' in it."--Jack White

Rejection is never easy. At least this was a rip the bandaid off fast one. It was only a query letter so the agent never saw my actual writing. I may have gotten too cute, joking around a little. There's very little value in second guessing a two or three sentence "no". I still have three partials out there, and I haven't even finished querying my short list. When my partials went out I got all hopeful and optimistic and quit querying. Mistake, i think.

So, beginning the day with some White Stripes (scroll all the way down the playlist to hear "The Hardest Button"), then I need to get some welding done. Around lunch I think I need to get out and blow my pipes out with some hard pedaling, dispel some of the energy. Tonight a kayak run with the Hedtke powerstroke team (trusty Pam and daughter) should smooth out any remaining wrinkles. This weekend I'll climb back in the querying saddle. This business has no room for fragile cry baby's or quitters.

Great post on Agent Nathan Bransford's blog

Hi writery types. You'll want to go check this out. It goes great with my last post about outlining etc. Begin with "the what".

Nice threads man

Last night I met up with a writer friend (Oh my god, have you seen those straws Pannera Bread uses? They're like freeking paper towel tubes! ) and we talked about outlining and story structure. I've never really understood structure before reading a couple of screenwriting books this year. ("The Anatomy of Story" by John Truby, and "Save the Cat" by Blake Snyder -- both of whom I heard interviewed on podcasts -- John on "Writers on writing", and Blake on "The Writing Show". See literary links.)

Screen writing? -- Yes. Why not? I have no interest in writing a screenplay, but by virtue of the competition in Hollywood those people understand pitches, pacing, and satisfying endings. To boil a story down to a pitch it has to be well structured to begin with. Besides, if, against all odds, your story gets published wouldn't it be handy if it was laid out in such a way that it was easily adaptable?

I've studied several favorite novels by rereading them, listening to them on tape, sometimes up to four times trying to decipher their mojo, (and there was mojo aplenty), but didn't really understand the components of a good story, focusing more on character development, setting, descriptions, dialog -- what was said and what was left for the reader's mind to fill in.

I kind of looked down my nose at outlining. After all, didn't "real writers" just let their characters drive the bus? Now my thinking is that characters must be very alive and given enough leash to take you down interesting, unexpected threads, but by mapping out the major points of your story ahead of time you ensure all those threads are running the same direction to form a rope that pulls the reader all the way through to "the end".

Diamond Hoo-Ha Man

The last couple of days have been pleasingly productive, and I've even managed to have some fun.

I started out the day today with a little Supergrass (It's a band, don't get too excited. Scroll down in the playlist to hear their new single "Diamond hoo-ha man.")
I got another chapter done, veering satisfyingly off the reservation by not following my outline religiously.
I got some more welding done on the heron.
I went to the driving range and tried whacking some balls for the first time ever with my buddy Jamie. I really scared the crap out of a few of them.
Last night I got to go for a nice fast kayak run on the swollen Mississippi with trusty Pam.
I took care of some boring stuff I've been procrastinating about, and queried a guy I'm feeling pretty sympatico with even though he isn't even aware of my existence.

The agent search is disturbingly similar to the relationships I have with some of my T.V. boyfriends. (They're all completely fictional - I'm very happily married - besides, in most cases I'm old enough to be their cool babysitter.)
The agents are quite real, but after reading their blogs for a while I start to feel like I know them, and the ones I wind up querying I really like. It's business and what you have needs to be salable for them or it's completely pointless, but it's hard to not feel pretty invested in these folks and their reactions to your work. Wish me luck, better yet, wish me crazy writing-fu skills and resonance.

Marketing genius

Trust me, if you go to this link you won't be disappointed. Good humor. Be sure to follow arrows in bottom right corner.

Little Room

When i visited my sister in Texas last Feb I learned to be less of a prima dona about how and where I write. I had to adapt because I needed to work, but wanted to spend time with her and my little niece and nephew.

I wrote after everyone went to bed into the wee hours. I wrote during mid afternoon nap times. At one point I wrote almost a whole chapter crammed in the back of their minivan on a road trip to San Antonio with my neice's little face peering over the top of my laptop screen smiling gap toothedly and issuing occasional commentary. "Boy, you type fast aunt Sue."

Today I began with writing, even though it made more sense to weld in the cool hours because that was just what needed to happen. My preference is really to just start the day writing and go until I run out. Check out White Stripes "Little room" in the player for some commentary about the creative process and getting going.

New work mode

So I'm firing up the welder again, working on commissions. First one is a big heron for someone in northern MN. Making "stuff that looks like other stuff" (representational art) isn't really hard (for me), just labor intensive. You're following an imperative. In this case, "make this pile of steel look like a heron, ready? -- go."

Now that I'm not in show mode and on a set deadline my schedule can be less punishing. That means when the welding shirt I begin the chilly morning with becomes a solar panel that feels like it's adhering to my back I have to keep working -- so I change into my leather apron and spray my arms with SPF 10,000 (or higher if available) to avoid that attractive fried spam welder's sunburn on my biceps and forearms, and the dorky farmers tan on the backs of my arms. (Yes, still working outside in the driveway for now...) But when my thumb sockets begin to grind and the muscles running up my ribcage begin to get sore, and I fling my pliers halfway to the neighbor's yard muttering a flurry of profanity (hey, it was asking for it) -- I can quit.

So now I'm inside and get to write. I can't make myself query today. I don't want to contemplate rejection or get all dopily starry eyed and hopeful. I just want to get back to my new story and write some of what's been occurring in my head the last few days. Sorry, no musical references today. Barbara Demarco Barrett and the authors she was interviewing kept me company until now on the iPod. (See "Writers on writing" in literary links.)

Paul Jessup

Just wanted to share some amazing writing with you. "A word without ghosts" by Paul is one of those little gems that makes my mind swoop and dive in a series of starling aerial acrobatics. It's very mysterious, poetic, and not very long and your imagination will thank you if you check it out.

Rac's rock Bonaroo

There is no way to cover Jack white in a single post so be prepared to read more about him from time to time, but this is his "other band" (aside from White Stripes) The Raconteurs, fronted by him (black t-shirt) and Brendan Benson. This performance is unbelievable. I think jack will be one of those guys still making amazing music 30 years from now.

His songs reference everything from Tesla to Acetomenephin. His voice has been described as "yelping" and unpolished and often breaks, but he puts his whole heart into each song and is prone to guitargasmic whoops and shouts that are so purely ecstatic they just make me love him all the more. He considers songwriting and making music to be a tradition of storytelling and creative expression that he's said he feels proud to be able to join, and appreciates many kinds of music new and old.

For a little lesson in story construction check out "Carolina drama" in the player. Listen to the character descriptions. Short brilliant polaroids.

For more awesome Bonaroo concert clips click any of the links along the bottom of the youtube frame that come up after "Level" has played through. Enjoy.

Everybody get dangerous

After the horrid, soul crushing cleaning marathon yesterday, (ok, can I just say, I don't know what the hell that thing in the shower drain was, but I'm pretty sure I could have fended off a home invader with it...) I went on an awesome 15 mile ride with my buddy Pam. She's the only one fool enough to go out and play with me every night after work (and vice versa she says).

At one point I buzzed a yellow, not something I'd recommend or ordinarily do. Cars always win in car v.s. bike smackdowns -- but just as I victoriously streaked past the line of bumpers I had Weezer blasting "Everybody get dangerous" on the iPod. (Sorry, not on playlist, i tried and tried. Play "Troublemaker" by them, same vibe.) It was awesome -- and don't worry, it wasn't really that dramatic. It didn't turn yellow until I was part-way through, but I was totally gettin' dangerous man. (You can see how solitary cleaning confinement affects me right? It's not pretty.)

Anyway, after being crabby all day from not being able to write, some rather vital parts of my story began stitching themselves together as a I pedaled along. Sometimes a little fermentation helps.

This weekend we're having revolving guests staying in our guest room (dubbed "the apartment" because it's so huge) and parties tonight and tomorrow. That means I'll have to be satisfied with scribbling cryptic story related notes as I cook, finish preparing, and annoy my husband with my awesome singing and jamming out. Poor Dan.

"Oh shower scum, why must you provoke my wrath?"

Did I mention I hate cleaning? Well, I do. Anyone's house that's perfect at all times really needs to get a life in my opinion. The only exception to this is if it's perfect only because they're never home to mess it up.

Yesterday I left my protagonist hard-pedaling her way straight into the mouth of danger and all I feel like doing is getting at the next chapter. Instead I'm diligently hosing down my abode in my hasmat suit, occasionally screaming "Stacked dead actors" (see playlist--foo fighters) or some such into the mic -- I mean toilet brush.

To those who ask, "But don't you feel better now?" I'll give the same reply as when I quit smoking -- a very cranky, "No." But like quitting smoking, once the harrowing process is behind me (and I'm back behind the keyboard, feverishly clacking away), at least it will be in the rearview mirror where it belongs.

Back in the saddle

Ok, yesterday I did clean approximately one third of my house. At one point it devolved into a bizarre, masochistic swimsuit try-on session, but I did make some progress.

Today I vowed to begin the day writing for an hour or two, then clean. What can I say? Here I sit six and a half hours and 2400+ words later and my house is still (I like to think) charmingly disarrayed. It needed to happen though. I've had to abandon the writing for about three weeks as I've been welding away and I needed to get back in. My characters have been hanging around the set chain-smoking and checking their watches for far too long.

I wish, for the life of me, I could remember which author gave this advice. I heard them on one of those podcasts in literary links, but they said to try to resist the urge to revise what you wrote the day before and just force yourself to plow ahead. Going back and tweaking can kill the forward momentum. A lot of times that first draft freshness gets trampled too. Let the story bubble out, then go back through and edit. I've been following that and I think it's good advice.

My story is full of ghosts and rock and roll and today the Black Keys "Set you free" worked its way into my last paragraph. Check it out in the playlist near the bottom. I love those guys.

Post opening recovery

The opening last Fri night went terrifically. I didn't have as much work as usual. My shop isn't quite finished yet so I've been confined to the driveway and subject to weather etc, but for eight weeks I worked like a fiend.It was all kind of a blur. Tons of incredibly well turned-out, good looking people showed up, lots of friends and family. I'm the blur in blue.
One of my sculptures attacked some woman. Just kidding.
Today is my day to reestablish some kind of order around here, as soon as I track down some caffeine. In the frantic run up to a show not a lot goes on besides working and basic hygiene. All I feel like doing is diving back down the rabbit hole of my story, but that will have to wait until tomorrow. Any writing time I carve out today will have to be devoted to queries and check backs.

Starting out the day with "Sun's gonna rise" by Citizen Cope -- a departure from heavy rock, but I defy you to shake nothing as you listen. (The longer version on iTunes has Santana chiming too, bonus.) It's near the bottom of the playlist. Scroll down -- and hey, get to work.

What is "it"? (and new playlist)

I got busted jamming out in my car last week but was completely unrepentant. (That's right United Van Rentals driver on west-bound Hwy 10 last Fri -- i'm talking to you.) While i like many different kinds of music, I'm a sucker for blow your hair back, make your dad mad, head banging rock with dirty guitars and loud drums. Sometimes you just want to (no -- need to) shake it, you know? That got me thinking about the ever elusive "it factor".

"The Blakes" put their first album out late last year and although most people haven't heard of them yet it's really good. Their sound is hard to pin down with some tracks sounding like throw-back brit pop and others like hard southern rock. The surprise hit though, is a number they didn't even expect to make it onto the album because the vocals were so rough and it wasn't as polished instrumentally as the others -- but people loved it. Take a listen on my newly added playlist (below my profile) to "Two Times." (warning -- if you're not into sweaty, greasy, bangin' rock don't bother -- you'll hate it. This means you mom and dad.)

"Two Times" just has something, that heart behind it, energy, the "it factor." Art and writing and music are all so completely subjective, but it's the "it" i'm always chasing. Something can be technically perfect, a story can be structurally sound and the wording well thought out, but still have a hollow ring. Same with visual art. Everyone's seen a painting that's amazingly accomplished, but in the end all you can say is, "yep, that's an apple alright," or whatever.

I've put a lot of music on the player and encourage you to support artists you enjoy by purchasing their music on itunes or wherever. I'll be directing your attention there from time to time. You know how music turns into "old people music" right? When you stop listening to anything new. Don't let your ears fill up with moss just yet folks.

Public appearances / New links

So -- tonight is my opening. I joke that after delivering the work to the gallery my only job between then and "show time" is intensive moisturizing. I'm only kind of joking. i am usually exhausted and really do need the time to gear-up for an evening of being dressed up, on my feet, and "up". People are taking time to come out and see my artwork, possibly making an evening of it with dinner and a long drive. Some of them will be buying, some just looking, but it's important to me to let everyone who shows up know i appreciate it. Part of the experience for people who are into art is meeting the artist and possibly making some kind of personal connection. This is where the marketing becomes a package deal. You are a bit of a product too, and it behooves you to get comfortable with that. It works best when it isn't some fake contrivance. Most of us creative types are somewhat reclusive however, and personally i do need to "ramp up" a bit, so today will be spent drinking lots of water, listening to music, and yes, intensive moisturizing. (I treat these things like practice sessions for book signings, eternal optimist that I am...)

Blog update-- check out the new "literary links." The two podcasts are like extension classes in your self-directed MFA, and the agent sites are full of great tips on querying and the publishing business. Miss Snark, whose blog went dark last year to the everlasting sorrow of her legions of fans, is archived and a goldmine of advice and biting humor.

Pork and Beans

Lest you think this blog is all high minded art-spew... For the uninitiated -- Weezer rocks. Enjoy. See what i mean about art making you feel good?

But, what's it for?

A farmer asked me this once after deciding my welds were nothing he could ridicule. My art was apparently not his thing (i was really into abstracts at the time), and he was implying i should be making something useful rather than the ornamental "whatever this stuff is" he was looking at.
He had a point; art isn't food.

To many people creative endeavors seem very self-indulgent, even, at times to those participating in them. But here's the thing -- taking in something beautiful or pleasantly interesting makes us feel good. It gives the world a little shot of positivity and elevates us, maybe expands our minds, even if temporarily, even if just a little.

I've met a lot of interesting and wonderful people through my art and thank god there are those out there who appreciate what i do, (some of whom will have a chance to see me all girled-up in a dress this friday).

What it's for, for me, is a way for me too feel the most normal and right it's possible for me to feel. When that creative energy is being sucked through me like a straw, whether it's writing or sculpting i just know -- this is it. Other people will have to decide what they think it's for i guess.

book launch 2.0

This is hilarious, and yes, terrifying. It gives you some indication of what lies ahead if you overcome the enormous odds against you and actually get published in the first place. Sadly, i'm at least as clueless as this guy (The awesome Dennis Cass) is parodying. Yikes! That's the game. You can either play or take your ball and go home.

This isn't that different from visual art. We like to pretend the business side doesn't exist and have to wall off the creative side to let it thrive and grow, but in the end if nobody makes any money... You have to keep the creative pipeline open, keep honing your technical skills, and devote some time to educating yourself about the business side of it and getting comfortable with that reality. Otherwise it turns into a pipe dream pretty darn fast.

being dragged kicking and screaming

Someone asked about "the dying of the light" line. It refers to the Dylan Thomas poem, "Do not go gentle into that good night" which begins, "Do not go gentle into the good night,
old age should burn and rave at end of day, rage, rage against the dying of the light". In Neil Young's "Into the black" he sings, "My my, hey hey, rock and roll is here to stay, it's better to burn out, than to fade away..." Basically, as Dave Grohl put it, "To dust as everything must," but you don't have to go down without a fight.

No query updates today. Looking forward to next week when i can throw myself back into my follow up novel which i'm about half-way into. (Hey, i just keep doing my thing and hope someday someone notices.)

Suffered a self-inflicted haircut wound to the head last night. Those who know me well won't be alarmed as this is pretty much a monthly occurrence and no one can ever tell (my hair being, well, my hair).

Art commissions booked through sept now. After that it will be time to gear up for a Nov show and the dreaded holidays. (i apologize, no one should even utter that word in June!) I have a new idea for handling both commission requests and all those people always asking why i don't have a website; an exclusive emailing list offering first viewings of new work with a chance to make an appointment or attend an open house to come see in person. Then i can go on blissfully making whatever pops into my poor brain, leaving the creative process as untainted as possible, and give those interested in a large work "first dibs". So far it's an idea not a policy but i'm liking it.

What's a slag hammer?

Hey, and welcome to my first post. "Slag" is the crusty metal residue that clings tenaciously to the edges of cuts in steel. So the "slag hammer" is what knocks it off. I've been thinking, "be my slag hammer mama, knock all the nasty burnt-up crap off of me" could be a good lyric snippet. Imagine the Black Keys doing it... I was really into "Have love, will travel" today by them. Check it out if you haven't heard it yet.

My paranormal thriller DIRT NAP is making the query rounds. I have a few partials out so am obsessively checking my email both hoping for and dreading replies. I have other queries out that i should probably retry because the typical 4 week window has elapsed. Anyone out there querying believe me, they get lost. From my experience no one will become enraged at you for trying again. If they do it was probably not going to be a love connection anyway.
One agent in particular sounds like one cool-ass chicka and i'm soooo hoping she wants a full. We'll see.

On the art side of things I have a show opening next Friday that runs for a month. (My paying job is making metal sculptures) (so far) (someone take a shot and publish me please) This is a nice venue. I usually sell out there so that makes everyone happy. It seems the wealthy stay wealthy even in hard times, and -- luckily for me -- keep buying art. There's one piece i'm into big time based on a character from my novel. She's kind of a bandit queen and those who've seen her have said she's very formidable, in a good way. Gotta love a strong woman right?