Another big adventure

Last weekend is a total blur. Actually, it blurred right into yesterday.

Check out this bike I found at a garage sale Saturday morning for Megan. Note the "rock'n'roll saw blades" inside the wheel spokes. I'm calling it the Super-Awesome-Rad, Power Bike. It makes anyone who sees it need to ride it. It has wicked front shocks too.

Here's me trying to convince Meg (photographically) of it's coolness. Hoping she just goes with it even though it's not "girly." If it was my size I'd ride it around town for sure. I might anyway!

Saturday afternoon I helped over at the trail, getting ready for a "duathelon" race Sunday. Racers ran a 5k through the hilly woods, then biked two continuous laps through the toughest half of the course, then ran the first leg of the race again--- in 90 degree super humid temps. ~crazy~

I wasn't racing (thank god! - Blech-- I hate running in heat!) but I like the vibe over there, with all the racers, and really like the people running the trail. They're my friends now and I love helping out friends. :)

To recap, so so far my weekend has gone like this:

Sat morning: Procure Super Awesome Rad Power Bike
Sat afternoon: Help set up for Sunday's race
Sat night: Double feature rentals that kept us up until about 1 a.m.
Sunday: Got to the trail about 6:30 a.m. to help with race which went until about 2:00 p.m.

By this time I was kind of on fumes. I got home and hit the couch and almost instantly fell asleep. But it didn't last long. Dan woke me up. There was something he wanted, badly. (Get your minds out of the gutter people-- I'm talking about a Honda trail bike.)

Remember my weekend of sue-point-oh and being all open to trying new things that led to me deciding it would probably be fun to find myself a little Trail-90 somewhere? Yeah-- When Dan saw a crack in the motorcycle door he quickly rammed his foot right in it. Like any guy, he's always wanted one, but it was "verboten". No kids, no motorcycles was part of "the deal."

Now that I've rationalized the little non-threatening, not very fast and rather cute trail bikes aren't really motorcycle motorcycles... well, in classic Dan fashion he's decided he needs the slightly more fancy, more expensive version of what I am looking at-- a Honda Trail 110. He found one, in Janesville WI.

A spur of the moment 12 hour road trip was on. Here's me at the beginning. Yeah, I'm already tired, and it's 4:00 Sunday afternoon, and the car has no AC and it's super hot and humid. My hair is NOT awesome. At all. But what the hell?--- We've got a cooler, and a tool box--let's hit it!

It was pretty fun at first-- a last minute adventure! So what I was kind of spaced-out from sleep deprivation and still wearing the same sweaty clothes from being at the hot trail all day and hadn't really eaten anything all day? "Road-trip, road-trip, road-trip!"

At one point Dan looked over and goes, "Ugh. There's cat hair all over your boobs." Me, "Why are you looking at my boobs instead of the road? You're supposed to be driving." (inattentive driving = major pet peeve of mine.) Him, in his dorky "I am super awesome" voice- "Because it pleases me." Me, "Yeah? Well check it out buddy." ~moosh~ Him- "Sorry officer, I was distracted by my wife's cat hair encrusted cleavage."

Yup, tons of joking around, arguing about who should have extra straws with their DQ shake. "You def need like, 5, because that's how much you suck!" Tons of laughing at all the cheese and fireworks billboards. Tons of beautiful, rolling WI scenery. But like any long road trip, it got old.

Here's me about 11 hours later, somewhere in WI. Driving had become like playing some intense video game at this point. I was craning forward trying to keep it between the dotted and solid lines, seemingly unable to predict curves. Dan had to take over for the last leg. I was def impaired.

But-- it was worth it. Dan got his 110, and want to know something kind of freaky? This is basically Dan's birthday gift (mine will be mine). The guy we bought it from got it from the original owner-- his uncle. That guy dutifully filled-out all the info in the little owner's manual as soon as he got it--- on 6/7/84. Dan's B'day is 6/7. (The year is different, but still-- his birthday and the bike's are the same!!)


He was understandably trashed three hours after we got home, when he was supposed to get up for work, so for the first time in 15 years, he called in sick. He really did feel like crap and had a GIANT headache that had been building all night.  When we finally got up, we went out and played with his new toy. He was a happy dude.

After taking turns zooming (okay, in my case-- putting tentatively) around the house (literally- we just drove it around the yard, down the driveway, making a circle around our house), we decided to go kayaking. So we spent a few hours on the river. Dan admitted skipping IS pretty awesome. (He never does this-- nevar.)

And our garage now looks like this. Actually, it gets worse. On the other side are my kayak, and the Super Awesome Rad Bike, plus art supplies, plus all the regular "garage-y" stuff.

All in all, not a bad weekend, even if it lasted three days.

The April Fools

Hey people. Yesterday was me and Dan's 28th anniversary, although, as my mom would be quick to point out, only of being a couple, not of being married. I don't split marital hairs. We were living together before we even started dating, were "just friends" for a few years before that. We've been together forever, and to me that's worth noting.

One thing that's awesome about having been together for this long, is that the other person knew you when, so they remember how awesome you were when you were young and hot.

Exhibit A: Here I am in all my 18 or 19 year-old glory. (Hey, it was the eighties people. Don't judge me.) Note the ashtray behind me to the right of the pic. Yep-- smoking, at my grandma's house, at Christmas. That's-- how badass I was. I look pretty happy about all my rebel-y-ness don't I?

Yep, when Dan and I started out the good times were rolling pretty much 24-7 (I had 2 modes-- working, and partying.). Here I am on my Dad's boat. Again, it was the eighties. Check out my hair-- rockin'.

Here's Dan in a friend's basement we used to party with all the time. I used to like it when he didn't shave because he looked... older than 12. Seriously, he has these super intense dark eyes. My friends all have noticed this. ~Sigh~

I've only recently concluded one of the key things about Dan that drew me in, besides a sudden, undeniable, overpowering attraction, was that he was always 100% accepting of me. I always had, since about age 16, this deep drive to do kind of crazy things. I was a major thrill seeker. He never scolded me, or acted jealous of the time I spent with my nutball friend of the moment, or seemed to have any expectations of me beyond loyalty. Me, just being me, was good enough.

That is a bigger deal than it sounds like, because I can be really fun, but also a lot of work. Alone together we were like these secret animals, that could play and tease, but also have these super deep, honest talks-- mostly me talking and asking him all kinds of probing questions about things that had never occurred to him before, about our true natures etc.

When we'd hit a rough patch, especially after the first 5 years, there was never any angst about whether we'd make it or not. Resolution was the only option. If one of us is unhappy, it isn't fixed yet. This takes a lot of work, a lot of talking, and wrestling towards happiness, but we decided it was worth it.

He's never tried to change me. When I quit school he never strung the words "wasted potential" together. When I was fat for a few years (and yes-- FAT. 173 on my birdy frame is Mama-Cass-choking-on-her-sandwich fat.), he never once said, "You sure you want to eat that?" When I was really ambitious about my job he cheered me on. When I wanted to go to welding school he didn't blink. When I wanted to scrap my furniture design plans and just make art he just said, "If that's what it takes to make you happy." He remembers what I was like, way back when, that whole different version of me, and thinks I'm way more awesome now.

Even though I usually look like this.

Last week I found THE PERFECT song for us, for right now. I played it over and over. He likes it too, because it's about a lifetime, and that layer of separation between your primary relationship and the world, and getting older and that being okay.

Enjoy "The Story" by Brandie Carlile. (Sorry about the ad. The size of the vid is for high def and the screen doesn't fit right. Couldn't figure out how to get rid of it.)

More than words

Hey people. It's the final "Gettin' It On Feb" Fav Music Fri post and it's a doozie.

First up is something a friend sent me. It's pretty funny, but also makes me just shake my head. Be sure to click so you can read this.

Next I have something to be honest I wasn't sure about sharing on here, but it just so damned funny. It is, however, one of the most obscene things I've ever seen, even if it is just line drawings, so be warned-- adult content-- totally NSFW. I'm just going to post the link so there's no accidental views. It's an ad from French t.v. (ah, the French).

Then there is today's music pick. This one has been in the bullpen for a while, and is a gorgeous song. It's so simple-- just guitar and voice. I think it's funny their drummer & bass player are still in the vid, just reading a magazine and hanging out. "Take five dudes." Enjoy "More Than Words" by Extreme.



Been a tough week here in paradise. Was not feelin' the love much AT ALL a few days ago. Hubs kind of lost it and had a very uncharacteristic spaz-out at me in public. He didn't make a huge spectacle of himself, but first of all, it always sucks to get yelled at no matter the circumstance, secondly-- what upset him wasn't really even my fault, and lastly-- I really HATE drama, especially in public. I felt like he'd just stormed out of the double-wide in a stained t-shirt and hurled beer cans at me in front of a bunch of my friends. (and not even friend-friends, acquaintance friends, who probably just thought he always acts like this.)

I felt like total shit.

Anyone who knows hubs at all knows this is completely strange. Is probably having a hard time even imagining this. He is one of the nicest, mellowest guys you'll ever meet. It was pretty freaky, and upsetting. We all have our moments don't we?

After, I was really bummed and thought it would take a long time for me to feel good about us again. But he rallied. He could see how it affected me and we talked and talked until I felt as good as I could about it at the time, which still wasn't stellar. The next day he actually went to the card store (I know. Big.).

It wasn't the card. It was the fact he made a special trip there on his own, and how he wrote a very heartfelt "please forgive me" note in it detailing what went wrong and how bad he felt about it all. Way to pull it out of the dumper hubs. Good save. We still have some more talking to do. That's how it works. That's why it's a real-life 26 year long relationship and not a lifetime movie.

But all in all, we're good.

The reason I'm letting you all rummage around in my private life is partly to let anyone who witnessed the big freak-out know that was a really bizarre incident, not just the way things roll around here, and that everything is now fine. Another reason is to remind everyone relationships are awesome, and sharing your life with someone gives your life dimension and having that connection is irreplaceable-- but it is a lot of work. Worthwhile, but always work.

Ever hear, "You get what you pay for?" You have to be willing to do the hard stuff too.

Get your heart ON.

Hey people. It's Valentine's weekend in case you have been under a rock or anything. Single or about-to-be, bitter, unhappy, gal-pal-peeps, I feel you guys, but this one's for the true believers, so you might as well tune out now. See ya next week.

For anyone sticking around-- I have some really cool songs for you today. I have to admit I think I posted this one last year, but I just can't help myself. I love me some Dave Grohl. This vid is so powerful I think, because of the denial of gratification-- the desire is so strong but they're both being held back by the glass. The frustration even gets violent. I'd be going NUTS. RAWR. ~shatters glass with awesome smashing side kick~ ~then totally makes out with Dave~

(If you push the button with the 4 arrows pointing out it will expand and you can get rid of the ad. Push esc to get it back to the blog.)



This next one is from one of my very favorite groups-- The Black Keys. This is a fan vid with some cool graphics. The song is "So he won't break," and I love it. I'd actually love to make a video of slo-mo mountain bike crashes to it someday, but in terms of a gettin'-it-on song, I think there will always be something incredibly seductive to women about the idea of being THE ONE who hits the nerve in a guy. Plus, the song just has that rolling, dirty rhythm that is perfect for making-out to.



Got into an interesting convo with Dan the other night. I can be a lot of work sometimes. I like a bit of attention (in case you hadn't guessed), kind of demand it actually. Sometimes I ask him for reassurance too. Sometimes I feel invincible, sometimes like a total train wreck. I can be hyper one day, and really bummed the next. I'm always concerned about how he's perceiving me. I feel a certain pressure to be "worth the trouble." I want him to feel "lucky" to have me, but that means I have to be pretty awesome right?

This plays out with me trying to make sure he likes coming home to me, trying to be fun, trying to look as good as I can, trying to make him feel good about himself, to anticipate his wants, trying to remain hot on some level-- lots of things. I want to add to his life.

I asked him if he ever thinks this way-- worrying how I see him.

Um... He's a guy-- so-- shocker! No.

He pretty much goes about his business and doesn't really think about how I am feeling about him. If I'm not pissed, he assumes everything is great. (If he detects any level of mysterious "pissedness" a whole other type of guy calculus begins to take place involving avoidance/deflection ratios etc, but that is a whole other post.)

It's so weird how different we are (men and women). I envy the way they take things at face value, and their confidence. (The very things I find so attractive in them -- hmmm.) (There's lots more, but their self-esteem already seems pretty up there, so I'll leave it at that.)

I've often wondered if it comes from how in Jr. High/High School, if you're a guy-- your face is your face and your hair is your hair. "Good luck to 'ya." But if you're a girl you're taught how to "fix" everything that's wrong with you with make-up and hair products and devices. And you are made well aware there is A TON wrong with you, and it goes way beyond just looks.

Wow- this got a little off track didn't it? I guess it's just funny how each sex seems to think the other is holding all the cards. Guys have the power of selection, girls of rejection. (This is what we each think anyway.) What a double-edged sword.

As usual I love hearing what you all think. Comment it up.

Play some good music while you make-out this weekend if at all possible. Have fun! (If it's not fun pick up a manual or something because you're def doing it wrong.)

Bowmp-chicka-mow-mow...

Hey people. Welcome to the "Gettin' It Effin ON Feb" edition of Fav Music Friday. My first bit of advice to any guys out there looking to, you know, get some-- is, if at all possible-- be Dave Grohl.

Okay. Sorry. Just kidding. Any excuse will do, really, to work him in. In all seriousness, V-day is coming up, and I do have a few thoughts. Lot's of women buy into the whole grand gestures deal, thinking if a guy comes up with flowers, or jewelry, etc it means he super lurves you. The Valentines Day industry is built on this myth. Maybe it means that, maybe not.

I know a few guys who are good at gifts etc, coming up with ideas all on their own, because they are thoughtful, and into their women, and they get it. (These men are all taken of course.) I've also known plenty who are good at that kind of stuff, because they get it too-- in a manipulative bastard-y way, or, just as pukey-- a showboat-y "look what an awesome guy I am" way.

So don't let the whole gifty, window dressing thing be the deciding factor. It's a plus, but it's not necessarily an indicator of "love." Sometimes, the guy who sucks at gifts & special occasions, but scrapes off your windshield on a random Thurs, and is super reliable, is the keeper.

Men and women are wired differently (if you haven't figured it out yet.) Let me crack the code for you. (There will always be gals who like interestingly damaged men, and guys who are into infantilized women who can't think their way out of a paper bag, but assuming everyone here falls somewhere on the pretty normal spectrum...)

Women want to feel so desirable, that they are worth almost any amount of trouble. This is why they really get into things where the guy shows he's gone to some kind of effort-- like planning ahead. They also like to feel they drive the guy so out of his gord, it ignites his baser male instincts. Which is why they like when he actually decides stuff all on his own, like what restaurant to go to. (rawr)

Men like to feel virile and indispensable. They like when they do things-- like fix stuff or make themselves useful-- and we notice. It might be somewhat expected that they do certain things, but it doesn't hurt anything to show a little gratitude. They do, after all, come in handy.

(I had a joke here about them liking it when we make a big deal about their muscles etc, but some random guy hanging out in my living room, whose name isn't Dan or anything, totally rolled his eyes.) I had a hard time pinning him down on exactly what guys like about how we behave towards them-- something besides how we look. Guys are so visual it's scary.

Finally we settled on -- when we show them any signs of being "into it", or "into them", they like it. (RAWR)

People-- like to feel like they are smart, and funny, and cool-- that they're loved, and liked too. They want to feel connected, and safe-- like there's a level of trust & intimacy in their significant relationship that sets it apart from all their other social interactions. Everyone likes to feel like they matter, that they are heard, and cared about. (purr)

Just food for thought. :) I'd love to hear what you guys/gals think about this. Weigh in.

This song has basically nothing to do with romantic love. It's purely about getting it on. Enjoy. Here's hoping everyone gets lucky this weekend. :)

A not so brief history of Sue & Dan

Hey people. Today is me and Dan's 16th anniversary-- although since we lived together for 10 years before getting all official-- I'm calling it big 26. Over the years, astounded friends and family members have questioned just how I managed to get so lucky, and how we've held this thing together all these years (duct tape, old coat hangers, and twist-ties mostly). I thought maybe if I went all the way back to the beginning I could provide a few insights on just how you pull off "happily ever after."

Back in the early Seventies, somewhere in St. Paul MN, young Daniel Seeger spent most of his time doing "boy stuff"-- building stilts so tall he had to get on the garage roof to get on them and walking around the neighborhood, building forts, smashing up his bike performing various stunts, doing stuff like this---

--broken up by occasional emergency room visits.

Meanwhile, back in the early Seventies, Little Suzie Westley (moi) spent most of her time doing, well... her own thing. I was a bit of a tom-boy with a twist, so I liked building forts, playing around outside, and sometimes dressing animals in costumes.

"Come and get it ladies." Despite this rather Leif Garret-ish shot of young Dan, he was mostly goofy and funny, and extremely nice, especially to animals and littler kids.

Meanwhile little me was goofy, funny, almost obsessed with animals and being outside. I think I was pretty nice too. I know I did not like mean stuck up kids at all, or boys who thought they were really great and picked on other kids.

Fast-forward to the Eighties (thank God right?) Young Dan's hijinks caught up with him when he broke his leg skiing. It was actually turned around backwards with the ski still on. He still has a rod in it. He also, disturbingly?- dated a series of brown-haired, curly-headed Sue's. (wtf Dan??? Have a type much?)

I, on the other hand, observed my friends becoming increasingly OBSESSED with boys.

Here's where we need to psychoanalyse a bit: I've since discovered many many women were like this- obsessed-- because their heads got kind of messed up from having low self-esteem & not enough daddy-attention. I had a really great dad. The things that screwed-up my head left me with a certainty that safety was not to be automatically found in a guy. Actually, more often than not, the threat originated from a guy-- especially one who liked you too much.

Guys were like nitro- incredibly destructive, and unstable. Since I could open my own jars, did not expect anyone to take care of me or protect me, and boys had proven to be unwilling to be deployed as weapons to vanquish my enemies or otherwise do my bidding, they were mainly to be cautiously avoided.

This was deeply disappointing to me, because I'd always really liked them. Growing up my very bestest friend was a boy.

I wound-up needing boyfriends though- to deter other guys. (Sorry Sue's ex-boyfriends. I didn't mean to use you.) This was #2 (#1 was a very creepy and ultimately dangerous stalker. This was before anti-stalking laws. That is basically a novel length story.)

#2 was "dreamy", according to my friends. To me he could be fun at times, got me into a lot of parties, and was a containable threat. He wasn't actually a cabbie, he just thought this looked cool. He wasted about a year and a half on me.

This is #3, a guy we're actually still friends with today. He used to get baked beyond belief and do advanced calculus. We spent tons of time smoking pot in his room. I think we both just liked being a pair to make things more hang-outable with the circle of friends we hung with. Dan was in this circle too. #3 was really nice, and we hung out for about a year and a half before I broke-up with him, ON Valentine's day at El Torito. I didn't tell him then, but I'd developed a huge crush on Dan. It wasn't fair to stay with him while having the complete hots for another guy.

Dan and I did the "just friends" thing for about six months before getting together. By then the gravitational pull was so strong our first kiss lasted about 5 hours (not even kidding). We were already living together with a couple other people in an apartment. We've been together ever since. I was nineteen, he was 20.

I wanted to interview Dan about our relationship, but not surprisingly, he wouldn't cooperate.

So I guess explaining everything will be up to me. Dan has this weird ability to pull the love through me out into the world. He's just essentially good. Can you see it? (That is my nephew- We have no kids by choice.)

How about now? Look at those eyes. There isn't one thing fake about him. My mom once told someone "Sue didn't wind-up with Dan because she needed him-- She picked him." That's true, but I think I needed him on another level that didn't have to do with the usual ways girls need guys. I think I needed him to be by my side, next to me as I did my own thing, letting me be me.

We like the same things.

We are both in love with the world.

Usually trying new things is my idea, but he'll go along with almost anything, and maddeningly be better at it than me. This was his first wheelie attempt in about 35 years.

But he stood there for nearly an hour cheering me on and taking a bazzilion pictures of me trying and trying and trying before eventually pulling off some tiny, inches-high wheelies. This was around my 45th birthday last summer. He could have rolled his eyes and made a bunch of mid-life crisis cracks, but he didn't. Inside we're both still the same kids.

I've gotten more comfortable over the years with letting him take care of me in the traditional ways. "Being the man."

Now it's practically my fall-back position. "A giant spider-- SAVE ME!"

And he lets me be "the girl",

but in my case, you never really know what you're going to get day to day, and he's fine with that. He doesn't always get me-- no one on Earth including me does-- but he accepts me.

This was taken a day we spent on the river together in the kayaks last summer. Delusionally I wore a bikini because I thought I could pull it off. When the pics came out of the camera I was really bummed. I'm not fat, but nature pulls this dirty trick as you get older of making your skin just not as taught as it's always been. God did I feel old and ridiculous! But Dan still took a bunch of shots of me, some kind of pervy ones when I wasn't looking, and all day made me feel like the hottest chick around. Now that's love.

We want the same things out of life. We routinely crack each other up. We talk about problems.

I sent him a questionnaire about us. He filled it all out and sent it back to me. See? Still appeasing me after all these years. (sighs) One of the questions was, "If I got all gross would you still love me?" He said, "Of course. I'd get all gross with you."

In the end I guess I'm still not sure how I lucked-out. I guess since I wasn't desperately searching I didn't just cling to the first guy to come along who wanted me. That gave the universe time to get us together. He claims he knew I was "the one" as soon as our giant make-out session/first kiss. Before that even, all I knew was I wanted to spend all my time with Dan. There was a very strong magnetic pull to him I didn't understand but couldn't ignore.

It's still almost the only thing that really matters in my life. If everything else went away, (and sometimes it feels like that is about to happen- when I feel all unhinged like I'm going to get swept away and disappear) I'd still have that, and be okay. Dan keeps me anchored, and makes my life happier and better.

Weird Wed- Haunted Hair & cat wigs

Hey people. That's right- You can now get a wig for your cat. I know my own cats, who are completely covered head to toe with fur, have never really expressed the desire to have even more hair, but...

If this is something you think your cat would be into, you can now go to kittywigs.com to get your cat it's very own wig. Thanks to Trusty Pam for this disturbia find.

So, the other night Dan and I had one of our weirdest arguments ever. Keep in mind we were especially wound-up for some reason. He'd already shoved a bag of moldy hamburger buns in my face, which we then had a stale bun pillow fight with.

Yes. We're both really weird I guess. Moldy buns and horseplay entertain us for up to fifteen minutes, and in my case, even longer.

So we were watching this show where a guy had to spread his wife's ashes, and he reached into the urn and began doing it by hand. I grossed-out. I said I would not want to actually touch the ashes, even if they were his, because they were dead body ashes. Ewe. He said there was no difference between those ashes and others.

I said, "So if I had wood ashes in one urn, and incinerated dog poop in the other, you wouldn't care which one you stuck your hand in?"

He goes, "Well, I'd have to see them first."

Me- "Really? REALLY? There's actually a scenario where you'd go, 'Those dog poo ashes do look a little more appealing. I'd much rather touch them?'"

Clearly another win for me imo.

This led to a big discussion of all the things I refuse to touch like disembodied hair & dryer lint (It's rank. Dead skin cells galore people!) Once hair or skin or whatever is not attached-- keep it the heck away from me. Gross. So the video below featuring a haunted house, weird zombie-ish lesbian (?) hair-covered models, and piles of attacking hair is definitely Halloween fare to me.

I'm combining Weird Wed and Fav Music Fri this week because fri will be a tmi-filled anniversary post, possibly with embarrassing pictures. We'll see.

Enjoy Peaches' "Talk To Me."



Have a good Wed. Rock on peeps.

Me in the big big world

Hey people. Dan has been gone for the last few days- fishing with my Dad, so I've been on my own.

I'm fine by myself. Some women get freaked-out, afraid etc, but to me it's like a mini vacation. I do whatever I want. It gets a little kideatingnothingbutpoptarts, like some nine year old who's parents aren't home, which is funny because it's not like Dan is in charge of me or anything when he is home. There's just something about having the whole place to myself that makes me feel kind of like being bad.

So there's been some deep dish pizza, and some m&m's, and some weighing myself and going, "Holy crap! What the eff am I doing!?" and some running and biking and eating of talapia and veggies and fruit. There's been some video double features, some writing, some staying up late reading (wow-- wild woman huh?), some hanging out with girlfriends-- pedaling and paddling and swimming in the river, and sitting around talking. I've also worked and got another commission done that came out really sweet. I have to admit, I miss having someone around to play fight with and tease relentlessly, and witness my weird antics. The cats are unphased by me kung-fu fighting in Pipi Longstocking braids and imitating John Luc Piccard.

He gets home tomorrow. Now I feel I've had my little pretending to be on my own vacation (assuming I'm someone who is on their own and has no interest in dating of course), but am really looking forward to him getting back, to the return of my normal life, because home is less homey without him.

In other SueNews:

Art stuff is going really good. I'm about to enter tiny branch production territory which some of you remember is really tedious and boring and I get really crabby about, but it is what it is-- high production mode. Still beats helping with a St. Bernard autopsy while super hung-over, or working in some third world country for some A-hole boss.

Mountain biking is getting better all the time. I'm slowly getting over my fear of downhills left over from my crash. I give myself little coaching talks as I go along which is hilarious. I pretend the voice in my head knows more than me and it sometimes works. I really don't know what the hell I'm doing. Everything I tell myself is just stuff I'm figuring out on my own, but it kind of works. The latest tips I've been giving myself are, "You don't need your brakes going up hill, just grab the bars, ignore the brakes, and hammer," and, for going down bumpy hills, "Penny knows what to do. She's made for this. Just let her bounce, and stay in control."

I'm getting back to thinking it's really fun again. I think it will always feel like work, but that is part of the fun as weird as that sounds. It's always going to be a huge challenge for me.

Gator Attack!

Hey people. This is the bridge over at the trail I'm making a sculpture for. Dan and I went over there as part of our playdate yesterday. Someone left a rubber alligator on it so I had to, of course, pretend it attacked me and make Dan take pictures.

Naturally I won. (I got so carried away I sort of hurt my ribs doing this. See people? All to entertain you. I give and I give...) That thing won't mess with ME again.

Actually, no one with any sense will mess with me this week because it's tin foil beanie time again. That's right-- extra profanity--(which I secretly like), and people everywhere suddenly pissing me off with all their bad driving and idiocy. The first symptom appeared last night when we went to Cub. When we hit the bakery department I leapt to the top of the cookie display like a velociraptor and began frantically reading the nutritional information on all the packages. Then I began sobbing, clutching boxes of cookies in each hand, wailing, "WHY? WHY DO ALL THESE COOKIES HAVE TO BE SO FATTENING?--AND, YOU KNOW, DELICIOUS TOO?"

Okay, that only happened in my head, but still. I really wanted to tear into them all like a grizzly bear. In reality, I muttered something anti social about them under my breath and Dan busted out his Sue imitation where he mimics me in a squeaky little girl voice and spreads his fingers apart and widens his eyes. This caused me to flee into the frozen food aisles clutching my ribs yelling , "Stop it! hahahaOW hahahaOW."

The other part of our date was walking along eating wild raspberries on the way to the bridge while I threatened the deerflies with nuclear weapons, "You're lucky I don't have any weapons you effing flies or I would kill you all TO DEATH!" (while waving my arms around and psychotically shaking my head all over) and going to Kohl's where we hit the intimates section and I made Dan look at all the enormous farm lady bras and held up giant horse-sized old lady panties acting like I was going to get them for myself. "These come up to my armpits. I guess that's enough coverage for me."

Our date ended with me making actual food and us renting a movie and him trying, unsuccessfully, to rub my ribs. Neither of us are very psyched about all the orange cones around me right now, but, it is what it is.

The event at the trail Sat was interesting. I'm so amazed at how athletic some people are. Incredible! I wasn't exactly over run with people buying pendants. There weren't any tussles about who saw which one first etc, but it was informative. It's useful to do stuff like that to see what works and what could get better. There's a bigger race in a couple weeks and already I know some stuff I'm going to change up. Pam proved to be trusty, and a really good friend once again by showing up and hanging out with me the whole time, even though it got kind of boring when it was just us sitting there waiting for the racers to come back in. There weren't as many spectators as I thought there'd be.

It was fun talking with people a little more I've met from over there, before and after the race, getting to know them a little more, and meeting some really cool women- spouses and racers. I have a weird personality- as if I need to tell you- where I have a really big mouth in print, and once I get to know them love to give people shit and joke around, but at first I'm shy. So it's good to get past the first couple times meeting people where I feel all awkward.

Wow-- bla bla bla today. I better shut this fascinating post down and get out to the welder. Yesterday I started my new lady for the bridge. It took me five hours to just get a basic framework for the face done, and this morning I looked at her again and need to cut apart the cheekbones and do them over again. I'm already falling in love though. This will be a good one.

Later people. Have a good Monday. Submit disturbia for Wed if you have anything.

Lazy River

Okay, ready to be jealous? Here's how I spent yesterday... On the Mississippi, exploring little channels between islands.

Up where I live it isn't gross yet, hasn't gone through any major metropolitan areas, and not that many other rivers have fed into it yet. It's kind of brown from sediment, but pretty clear. We found a nice little spot to pull over for a picnic.

Mostly shady with patches of sun breaking through the tunnel of maples that formed a canopy overhead, perfect.

The water here was only about knee deep so we waded around checking stuff out. The water was warm.

I found all these cool shells, plus an old drowned boom box that looked like it had been there a season or two that was pretty gross. The shells are pretty though huh? I don't know what makes the colors in them, but this is after I scrubbed them clean. Yay free treasure!

Over the years Dan has brought me cool shells he found on trips with "the guys" up north, and driftwood. He knows what I'm into-- not roses! All in all this day produced this face. (Yes, this pic has been cropped to protect your eyes and my dignity.) (But it was a fun day. Good vibes.)

After the river excursion we rode the mountain bike trail and seemed to hit our stride as far as riding together goes. Dan agreed he'd not be pleased if I rode recklessly and crashed left and right so agreed to not take crazy risks. He let me lead through the first two sections where I'm pretty fast now, and I let him take point on the final two, knowing I'd hold him back. He waited up for me every once in a while, and surprisingly wasn't all that far ahead of me most of the time anyway. It was fun for both of us this time-- whew! Good date/play day. Success!

Where it's at for me right now is that it's summer and I'm trying to enjoy this fleeting season as much as I can. Where I live the memories of summer sustain us in Jan and Feb when it's bleak, dimly lit and bitterly cold, so you're a fool if you don't capitalize on June, July, and Aug.

Art-wise-- I'm working like crazy, but kind of blew the season as far as having lots of stuff ready. I totally fried myself back in April and had a real hard time firing up again. This is a luxury people that work for the man don't have I know, but I don't work for the man so that's where it is. All I can do is work hard now to make sure fall is a success.

Writing-wise, I'm into revising my first novel- completely rewriting it actually, and it's way better. I need to carve out more time for it though. Before I had heat/electricity out in the shop I had nothing but time and could write for hours and hours at a time. Now I'm either welding, riding, or paddling it seems. Our "no computers at night" rule (new from the togetherness push) might have to be modified to exclude writing. Dan says he'd be cool with that.

Today is a Grandma day. My folks are out of town so I'll be taking her to run errands and to lunch. Her age (94) makes me hyper-aware of mortality in general. She knows her time is short. When we go grocery shopping I think about how weird that would be, wondering if you should buy the big jar of peanut butter or whatever, or if it would be a waste. I'm glad we get to spend some time together and talk about stuff. It feels like an experience I'm meant to have so I'm trying to absorb, learn, and be there for her.

That's it for today. Sorry this is such a yawn-fest. It is what it is sometimes. :)