~**Twilight**~

Yes, it's a two-fer, and yeah-- I totally stole the sparkle-rific ~*~'s from blog buddy Courtney. I should also just go ahead and lead with the disclaimer that this post will in no way approach the level of thoroughness, or awesomeness, of her post about this movie, but I'm going to go ahead and put a little Sue-sauce on it anyway.

OK, first let me say I was plenty embarrassed to pick up the first Twilight book, and my shame grew with each subsequent volume. By the time the final book came out, I was practically standing outside Borders trying to shove a twenty into some poor woman's hand like a heroin addict, "Seriously man, I need to score. Just go in and buy it for me. I can't show my face in there again, not buying another Twilight book."

I went into Twilight wanting to find out more about YA (young adult-- a genre for you non- writery types. Think sections of the bookstore.) I didn't really know what it was, but had a feeling it was more juvenile than my stuff. Wrong-- kind of. When I read these books I was elated! I TOTALLY got them. The writing isn't that impressive, but you don't have to be a literary mastermind if you understand what makes a reader invest in your characters, and how to work a story, reveals, playing with the different kinds of tension, etc. They were total page turners and I so got why.

My novels are a lot more edgy, and hopefully the writing is a lot better (yeah, I know, kind of sound like an ass there, but oh-wells), but I think I hit a lot of the same notes. Anyway, these books made me zero in on who exactly I am writing for (have been, unwittingly, for quite a while now), and for that I'll always be a fan.

OK-- The movie--- first of all I did not find any of the dudes in this movie hot at all really, which is probably a very healthy thing since the only one my age would have been Bella's dad, and he's not enough of a smart-ass to pull that mustache off, and, just not my type. RPATTZ (otherwise known as Edward) was very pretty, but a little too pretty (and young) for me. Also, I'm fairly certain we wear the exact same shade of lipstick. The kid who played Jacob was cool, and I can't wait to see how they hottie him up in future movies. Tons of potential hottness there. If I was forced to choose a guy from the cast, and had a time machine, I guess the guy who played James (the tracker) came close, except that he's blond, and the world seems to love blonds enough for both of us. But he was roughed-up enough at least. Yeah, I like the dirt-ball thing, as long as we're talking fictional boyfriends only.

The sparkles, as reported around the 'nets, were laughably disappointing. I've heard a lot of KS bashing, but I have to say, I didn't think she was that bad. I actually think it's the role not as much as her. Bella is Bella after all. Did anyone notice Esme is the same actress who starred in that series that was on for like 3 episodes called "The Ex List"-- and on the show, her character's name was Bella??? Anyway, have also heard about Carlisle's hotness factor, and I gotta say, I just wasn't feelin' it. He had too much of a Tom Cruise thing going on, and TC creeps me out big time, also his hair looked fake blond. Sorry girls, but picture a young, fake blond, Tom Cruisery Grandpa Munster and you've pretty much got Carlisle Cullen.

Loved Alice. Rosalie-- blech. Emmett-- meh. Alice's "mate"-- Jasper?-- the blond guy? ---My favorite! Every single time he appeared onscreen I broke into a fit of muffled snickers. The director must have kept saying, open your eyes wider-- WIDER!" Either that or they just had him smoke like 3 bongs then take about five hits of speed.

Actually there were lots and lots of times I found myself snickering, but I'm still glad I went to see it, and am glad it's so huge, because weather you like her books or not, Stephanie Meyer has broken the "Harry Potter" stranglehold, and all these girls have been introduced to the awesomeness of books. Yay- maybe more room on the shelves of some of us, writery types!

One of the funniest things I've read on twitter lately was this guy (kid) in Ca-- "If all those teenage girls like those Mormon vampires so much, they're going to love my Presbyterian Frankenstein!"

All I can say is if all these gals are going so ballistic over sexually repressed Edward, their heads will explode if they ever find out about my existential angst ridden, adrenalin junkie, smart-assed, heart breakingly beautiful and effed-up ghost. Go team ghost!
(Once you go ghost...well... you're haunted.)