When The Cat's Away...

So Dan's away on his man weekend and that leaves me to my own devices. I actually like having the place to myself occasionally. Some gal pals I know get kind of creeped-out by being alone but I digs it. Besides, what's to worry about? -- I have my ingenious scotch tape security system and all the watch cats, and of course that fact that my groovy driveway sharing neighbor's house is only like 50 feet away helps too...

So what do I do with all this uncharted, unobserved time? -- Let's take a looky.

1) The jamming out has been pretty unconstrained around here since the hubster pulled out of the driveway. Ordinarily I keep it to a courteous minimum-- except when he's mowing the lawn in which case I give him full-on sliding glass door rockfests when he drives by and taunt him by pretending I'm about to remove clothing. Yes-- it's hilarious.

Since he's not around to cringe I can just walk around the house belting out "hardest button to button" or "lithium" or "stacked actors" to my heart's content. No shower curtain required.

2) Drum practice on my rockin' pillow and cookie sheet. I also have begun using a pen in the car, trying to train my left arm to become a human metronome, which is surprisingly easy so far. I think something might have flipped in my brain suddenly making this easier to grasp-- at least with no sheet music in front of me.

3) Went to an art gig solo last night. Just as well, he really doesn't like going to openings etc much, although a lot of our friends were at this one so it was more fun. It was kind of like just a regular party, except there were some strangers wandering around buying art, scooting around us, and otherwise interrupting the consumption of free wine.

I added a bass player and maybe a lead guitar to my pretend band (nacho mama), and two guys have now offered to share their drumming expertise with me. One has a kit that he can't really use anymore (carpal tunnel-- bummage) and we may "work something out". He was trying to get me to trade away Dan's riding lawn mower for them last night but I resisted. Am I the dream wife or what? This would have upset Dan, and wrecked my sliding glass door rock shows, so I put my interests aside-- for him. Ahh love.

4) Jeans shopping. I did NEED new jeans. I have literally almost worked my ass all the way off, causing all my current pairs to practically sag off my back end. I'm happy to report I am officially letting go of my most superficial goal, which truthfully made me disappointed in myself anyway. It was to become skinny enough and rich enough to one day be able to shop at Anthropology. I don't have much money yet, but decided to go there and whet my appetite for all the stuff I could probably fit into now. They had tons of cute stuff, as always, but you know?-- cords just aren't worth 150 bucks to me. What are they?-- magic? Are they somehow synced right to your brain to give you an instantaneous gratifying massage anywhere you want? (If someone actually invents these magic "pleasure pants"-- I want a cut.)

I found my ass actually looked just as good in the jeans I picked up at JC Penny's (I know! -- but check it out, some actually cute stuff). I also got one pair of just plain good old levi's which are classics and you can get anywhere. Really, my butt cannot tell the difference. I guess it's a cheap date.

5) Curiously, "the normal" also took place. I always picture leaping through clouds of feathers fresh from some kind of amazing wild ninja pillow fighting solo action or, I don't know, making and eating a whole pan or brownies or something-- you know, some "parents away for the weekend" type hijinks. But all I wind up doing is working in the driveway, checking email, renting some flicks, getting a takeout pizza. Pretty tame. Oh well, I must conserve my energy for WEEZER next weekend!

Hope your Sat was a good as mine!