Me: "Pat! Dan! Wow-- I can't believe it! What the heck are you guys doing here? How are you?"
Pat: "Hey Sue-- We're good, we're good. Wow, you look awesome. Doesn't she look great man?"
Dan: (beaming) "Yeah man, she totally does."
Pat: "Well, we heard you finally got "Attack and Release" over on iTunes and we thought we'd just stop on by and see what you thought of it."
Dan: "Yeah," (kind of nervously) "So, How'd you like it?"
Me: "Well, I have to tell you guys, when I heard about this last album I was reticent. One of the reasons I love you is your whole, "let's just throw a cardboard box over that mic and record this sucker in an old tire plant" indie thing. When I heard you were bringing in some hiphop guy to produce... But I have to say, after listening... --it totally won me over!"
Pat: "Seriously? Wow, thanks."
Dan: "Yeah, that means so much coming from you. (tearing up a bit but still totally maintaining his manliness) It kind of makes it all worthwhile, the touring, the road food, all the work..."
Me: "Well, I mean it! -- Strange Times?-- Pat you were on fire man! Those opening drums rocked my socks! And "Psychotic Girl"?-- that tinkley piano bit?-- creepily cool man."
Pat: "We totally wrote that one for you."
Me: "Yeah, I figured. But Dan, there is something I need to talk to you about..."
Pat: "Here it comes dude."
Dan: (bracing himself) "Yeah?"
Me: "So He Won't Break"? -- not to mention "Act Nice And Gentle"? You have to stop trying to make me fall in love with you, seriously. I already have a Dan with deep soulful eyes. I love you guy, just not in that way. The female repelling beard?-- I know you've been trying to save yourself for me, but you need to move on. I'm old enough to be your cool babysitter."
Dan: "Did you see how I paid tribute to you in that video (see bottom of post)-- the lady who tried to come up to me while I'm playing?"
Me: "Yeah, Thanks. Anyway, this isn't healthy. You need to drop it."
Dan: "But we totally have that..." (Here his does that thing where he flicks his fingers between our sets of eyes.)
Me: "I know. I know honey. We'll always have that."
Dan: "And that mmph..." (peering longingly into my face)
Me: "I know-- we'd burn the fricking house down. But it's not going to happen. (Now I gently touch his arm) You know how special you are to me, but we can only be friends."
Pat: "Ugh-- dude."
Me: "Are we ok Dan?"
Dan: (smiling and giving me a little sideways hug) "Oh sweety, we'll always be ok."
Pat: "God I'm bored with this. Can you make me a sandwich or something?"
Me: "Sure. Come on you knuckleheads."
Hey-- Just because I can't write full time right now doesn't mean there's not still a whole lot of fiction happening... Seriously-- give these guys a listen and buy their music.
Fricking youtube's embed failed-- again! (or, I guess, disabled. It was me.)-- just use the link to see their rocking (and hilarious video) in which the part of "ME" is played by a professional actress...
7 comments:
This is awesome!
(Last night Brad PItt gave me a comb. It wasn't as great as our grocery shopping trip, but I made some freaky music by running my thumbnail over the teeth of the comb so it was cool.)
(Seriously though, all those times me and Johnny drew cartoons of each other as dogs? Epic.)
(so I totally get what you're saying here!)
Separated at birth Heidi... That's got to be it.
"Drew cartoons of each other as dogs"
mmphpp hrmph ppppppbbbbttt!
(diet coke spewing laughter)
Su- punch in "do my dreams make sense" in the little "Search this Blog" box. It's all there. Someday I'm sure it'll bite me in the butt!
Ha! I totally met Pat in Newport, Kentucky, and it went like this:
Me: Are you going on soon?
Pat: Yeah.
Me: I saw you once before. It was awesome.
Pat: Cool.
Me: Cheers.
Pa: Cheers.
We're, like, totally BFF. Can you tell? Cheers.
Hey mb-- I'm so jealous!
Thanks for stopping by.
Mike runs the linked beard blog. He's a graphics guys so must be cool right?
Weird! I swear I have had a similar experience!
One hot July day I was running along White Bear Lake and I noticed a shirtless runner coming the other direction. He was tan and had flowing blonde hair and looked just a little bit dirty in a sexy sort of way. He smiled said hello, gave me the secret wave we all give to other runners and continued on his way. About a mile up the road I came across the same dirty runner on a floating chair in one of those 3 foot blow up kiddy
pools and he was drinking a beer. He even hoisted his beer to me!
That was my brush with Mathew Mcconaughy. The difference is I don't even like Mathew! What does this mean?
Of course I am the same person who on a 4 mile run had mirages that manifested themselves as Hostess Snowballs lying along the road. Now thats just sick in so many different ways.
Anon-- weird. Mathew has clearly been stalking you. He probably took up running as some kind of elaborate ruse. I had the same thing one time with Jake Gyllehaal. He got a job at the local McDonald's just on the off chance he'd get to hand a cone to me from the drive through window. Once I became aware of this I had to have the "we can only be friends" talk with him too. I hate when guys cry.
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