Fair Play

Took the whole day off today and went to the MN State fair.
For those of you who may not remember what that's like, it's exactly like this--

That's right, tons of doughy Minnesotans, many, as usual, wearing shorts who should not be, many inexplicably pushing strollers (hello?), and almost all stuffing their faces indiscriminately. But it was, unlike other years, not blistering hot today, actually quite pleasant, and I was there with my bud Linda, so knew it would be a good time.

To be fair, this was taken after eating the cheese curds.
(Deep fried cheese, what could be wrong with that?)

That's right Linda, pork does indeed rule.
Let's get us some big fat bacon.
(actually I'm a vegetarian mostly, but come on, this sign was too good)

We did engage in some extreme mini doughnut consumption...

"Extreme?" you ask-- that's right people. These things were a thousand freaking degrees!

Yes-- one thousand! I'm talking lips of asbestos people!

Sizzle Sizzle Sizzle

We also came upon this bizarre monument to forced feeding. Hmm...

And this terrifying ride where a large breasted woman holds your little car
in one of her mighty fists and flings you madly all over hell!

For you single gals... who could resist? He looks handy...

And don't think i forgot about you guys... (I mean Madame Twisto, not the girls on the bench)
Below is one of the weirdest uses of promotional dollars ever witnessed.

Xcel Energy decided this disturbing "possible methods of electrocution" display
was the best way to utilize their booth at the grandstand.
Note creative placement of singed birds and lead wire running to
the ill fated little man doll....
Sign me up!

This is an absolute must click for bigger weirdage.
First of all, the bald dude looks totally like some ex-con, am I right?
then note the "here now- gorilla girl" sign...

That's right, click again people-- the barker was creepily slick-- trying to coax the crowd into ogling the freaks. The chick is a sword swallower, and "little person" is a
flame eater who was supposedly in "The Wizard of Oz".
And check out the guy in the back in the hat and shades. He totally creeped me out.

Then I had this fantastic idea--
"The Carny Pageant" !!
But alas, this was the only one to be found still
looking appropriately grimy and sinister.

The rest had been given these clean, matching uniforms. (AKA disguises)
I'm pretty sure behind the somewhat presentable appearance still lurks
a total creepy loser though, don't you?
This guy looks like he's looking at a pork chop doesn't he?
(click)

Since the whole carny quest was a failure, I came up with another option--
"Scariest Dude At The Fair"
but by then we were getting hot, had eaten all our digestive tracts could support,
and were pretty much "faired-out"
--so I proclaimed this guy this year's only contestant and winner by default.

Just to not end on a bad vibe note-- get a load of these guys...
"WTF? Hey you guys-- this isn't a spa -- butter massage my feathered ass!
Look at that booth over there!"

Much, much more fair weirdage to come. This really only scratches the surface.
As always, feel free to caption any of these, or comment it up any way you see fit.