SUCKWOW

You heard it here first people. I'm inventing something today that could make me eleventies of millions of dollars. I'm turning my actual workbench into a giant air sucking mosheen. It's going to have the capability to suck fumes from the surface (which is made of catwalk grating) and from a detachable vent hose in the front for working out in the center of the room.

This will suck all the smelly, unhealthy air and metal dust out of my shop. Yep, that's right, my invention is healthy. My invention could SAVE LIVES. I won't bore you with further technical details but suffice to say-- take that SHAMWOW.

Have you ever saved anyone's life shamwow? -- Yeah, I didn't think so.

Yesterday I watched the game with Dan. If you don't know what I'm talking about-- too bad, you won't care about this so just skip ahead.

I'm really good at football watching now. i know all the rules and everything. It makes it more fun for Dan. Just one little snaffoo. I have a tendency to nickname stuff (people too, just a habit, probably from having a one syllable name) but I nicknamed "stiff arms" "stiffies", and he didn't like that. "Give that guy a stiffie! Run!" was my one cheering fail.

To make it more fun for me, (because we don't pretend I'm into football for any other reason than to provide Dan with that enthusiastic crowd atmosphere that helps him enjoy it more), he gave me a calf massage and made us cookies at half time. All in all, not a bad game.

The writing is going really good right now. I went through a total crisis last week, of identity but also confidence. Another weird thing happened too. Someday I'll do a post of all the other weird cosmic things surrounding this story-- this is only one. A really good friend from high school I haven't talked to since 11th grade found me on the internet-o-sphere. We caught up a little, and it turns out she taught fiction editing when she was in grad school-- and she said she'd beta my story! Cool huh? Now I have 4 good betas. (people who agree to read your draft and tell you what they think).

I also think I'm getting over myself as far as my writing goes. People are supposed to forget, as the author, that you're there telling the story. the story and characters are supposed to do that. Intellectually I've always known this, but I have to admit, i think my ego was a little reluctant to get the eff off the stage. I'm getting rid of lots of dross. It'll be way better.

Ok, this is too long, so the giant cat pot party and magical dog of healing stories will have to wait for another day.

EDIT TO ADD: Being an inventor runs in our family. My seestah invented the nose-pon for those days when it's simply impossible to expel all the mucus from your sinuses by ordinary blowing. (Think-- "stop the flow", and picture her with wads of tissue sticking out of her nostrils.) I think she got the idea from that Breath Right ad where the guy goes, "and then I thought-- hey-- outside the nose not in!" But she took it the complete opposite direction.