Hey people. Be cool, DO NOT call attention to us, but, me and Linda are totally skipping today. SHHHH! I said be cool people! Do not make me come over there and glare menacingly at you with my black eyeliner and flick butts at you. (Well, truthfully, those days are over, but still...) (~glare~)
We're both supposed to be working, but are taking off for Buffalo-- A quaint, antiquey, small town that manages, in our demented hands, to become a hot-bed of disturbia every couple of months. We unearth its underlying subversive creepiness. Believe me, even if it's completely normal-- that-- its essential normality-- will become disturbingly bizarre (and usually hilarious) to us. Good times.
Also, a note to all you "possibly psychotic internet weirdos" (yes-- that's a direct quote) out there who frequent mah blog-- my parents are totally on to you man. They have expressed their concern about me being so "out there", and are keeping their eye on you-- general public. I guess they don't actually read my blog often enough to know about my Gold Pants Super Hero Crime Fighting Force, renowned hands of fury, or the fact that I point out places you may "relentlessly stalk me" right in my headlines.
In case any actual psychos out there are contemplating stalking me, you know, not in a good way, just take heed-- I live in an undisclosed location (meaning if you found me it's possible dick Chaney may try to blow your face off-- maybe, if he's not busy), and am guarded 24-7 by a pack of ravenous cats. Also, Trusty Pam is frequently nearby and, as previously stated, has amazing strength. There are also my work gloves which increase my own strength ten-fold, plus, you know, my parents. I don't think you want to tangle with a man who has endured 31 shots in the man-ha and lived to tell about it. And my mom has always been pretty scary when she wants to be. So, Don't say i didn't warn you.
Fire nipples
2 days ago
6 comments:
Hmmmm... Maybe I'll stop being so friendly to you at the trail. No one wants the wrath of MOM to come down on them! :)
No my friend, no they DO NOT. The mere sight of her clenching her tiny fists would be enough to make a grown man whimper.
But don't worry, I'll protect you.
;D
@ Rich-- plus i said "NOT in a good way" ;D
Sue - Ahhh yes. That makes me feel a little safer again. :) I have the protection of the Gold Pants Super Hero Crime Fighting Force.
BTW; Maybe you should run while wearing the Gold pants? Then bikers would yield to you!
Really all you need to do is carry a photo of Dan in the Golden Pants. That would solve ALL your scary stalker problems! No offense to Dan, of course.
Rich--
If "yeild" = falling off your bike laughing-- yes!
b_elliott--
If "solving all my stalker problems" = incapacitated by laughter-- yes! Also no offense to Dan, but he would not cut a very terrifying figure in the gold pants. It would be kind of like gold plated chicken legs. (luv ya honey) (as if he ever reads this)
Plus-- remember, I don't actually have a stalker problem. This is just my parent's flattering overestimation of A) the # of people who actually read my blog, and B) how focused people in general, not even specifically internet weirdos, are on me.
Really a non issue. ;)
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