Bowmp-chicka-mow-mow...

Hey people. Welcome to the "Gettin' It Effin ON Feb" edition of Fav Music Friday. My first bit of advice to any guys out there looking to, you know, get some-- is, if at all possible-- be Dave Grohl.

Okay. Sorry. Just kidding. Any excuse will do, really, to work him in. In all seriousness, V-day is coming up, and I do have a few thoughts. Lot's of women buy into the whole grand gestures deal, thinking if a guy comes up with flowers, or jewelry, etc it means he super lurves you. The Valentines Day industry is built on this myth. Maybe it means that, maybe not.

I know a few guys who are good at gifts etc, coming up with ideas all on their own, because they are thoughtful, and into their women, and they get it. (These men are all taken of course.) I've also known plenty who are good at that kind of stuff, because they get it too-- in a manipulative bastard-y way, or, just as pukey-- a showboat-y "look what an awesome guy I am" way.

So don't let the whole gifty, window dressing thing be the deciding factor. It's a plus, but it's not necessarily an indicator of "love." Sometimes, the guy who sucks at gifts & special occasions, but scrapes off your windshield on a random Thurs, and is super reliable, is the keeper.

Men and women are wired differently (if you haven't figured it out yet.) Let me crack the code for you. (There will always be gals who like interestingly damaged men, and guys who are into infantilized women who can't think their way out of a paper bag, but assuming everyone here falls somewhere on the pretty normal spectrum...)

Women want to feel so desirable, that they are worth almost any amount of trouble. This is why they really get into things where the guy shows he's gone to some kind of effort-- like planning ahead. They also like to feel they drive the guy so out of his gord, it ignites his baser male instincts. Which is why they like when he actually decides stuff all on his own, like what restaurant to go to. (rawr)

Men like to feel virile and indispensable. They like when they do things-- like fix stuff or make themselves useful-- and we notice. It might be somewhat expected that they do certain things, but it doesn't hurt anything to show a little gratitude. They do, after all, come in handy.

(I had a joke here about them liking it when we make a big deal about their muscles etc, but some random guy hanging out in my living room, whose name isn't Dan or anything, totally rolled his eyes.) I had a hard time pinning him down on exactly what guys like about how we behave towards them-- something besides how we look. Guys are so visual it's scary.

Finally we settled on -- when we show them any signs of being "into it", or "into them", they like it. (RAWR)

People-- like to feel like they are smart, and funny, and cool-- that they're loved, and liked too. They want to feel connected, and safe-- like there's a level of trust & intimacy in their significant relationship that sets it apart from all their other social interactions. Everyone likes to feel like they matter, that they are heard, and cared about. (purr)

Just food for thought. :) I'd love to hear what you guys/gals think about this. Weigh in.

This song has basically nothing to do with romantic love. It's purely about getting it on. Enjoy. Here's hoping everyone gets lucky this weekend. :)