Skip day!-- get your fash-on.

Hey people. Last week I took a skip day. You may remember- skipping is one of the few elicit thrills I still indulge from time to time, and it's even more fun when I can corrupt a friend. This time, as I pulled out of my driveway, I made a last minute, long-shot phone call to T Pam's work.

"Guess what I'm doing today."
"Uh, welding?"
"Nope. Skipping. I'm on my way to IKEA and The Mall. I could easily stop by your work and pick you up...."
~long seconds of silence~
"Give me ten minutes."

Yay! It was ON! IKEA has, among its many wonders, lingonberry soda. Yum.

The Mall has, among its many wonders, Auntie Anne's pretzel sticks. Pam went for the regular, while I got my usual-- cinnamon.

The superiority of my pretzel sticks is irrefutable. Sugar + cinnamon, on warm chewy bread. I'm drooling just typing this.

Back to IKEA-- we had a lot of fun wandering around in all the room and apartment settings. When I saw this giant pile of dead cows I was super grossed-out. Pam comes from a long line of savage hunters and was, as almost always, non-plussed. She was happy to pose with them, not quite understanding I was hoping for a more repulsive pose.

A second later I asked her to roll around on them. She obliged. (Sometimes being my friend is a lot of work.) My camera fuzzed-out though so that shot was ruined. But way to be a good sport Pam! (and way to make cow skins look fashionable!)

One of the stops at The Mall we made was DSW, aka shoe mecca. Check these cat woman boots. I can't look at them without making a big "re-owwww" cat screech in my head and cracking a bull whip.

And these are for going to the Grammys in...

Don't make me get tough with you...

Pam said, "There's two kinds of shoes- eff you shoes and eff-me shoes."

I'd never heard that before, but I guess these would be the eff-me's? I'm sometimes drawn to stuff like this the way your brain just fires off-- "OOOOO pretty!" without any practical thought at all.

Then I remember-- This isn't me...

This is.

Sometimes I make futile misguided attempts at being fancy.

But I pretty much am not.

My life isn't so much this--

As this--

Even though I sometimes really wish I could pull this off--

Even if I could ever become that skinny and elongated and fashionable, it would still just be regular old dorky me tottering around on my glamorous stork legs. I've complained about my legs (and other various parts), to Pam's irritation, ever since she's known me. It's an annoying habit, running yourself down. Also not so good for your energy/attitude.

She often gruffly reminds me, "Well, our legs may not be much to look at, but they get us around, and we can do a lot of stuff a lot of other people our age can't with them. So there."

Pam often makes such plucky statements. If you ever had to hit the road, like some depression era dames, roughing it and making your way in the cold cruel world, she'd be good to have along.

She's right of course. I'd take my legs over that model's legs any day, as long as they keep allowing me to have as much fun as I do on them. So forget high heels. These are what do the job for me and my life.

But I have to say I'd totally wear these!

And these!

What about you guys? Do you have any secret fashion fetishes? Do you sometimes wish you were more glam? or more sporty? Is there a difference between the shoes of your dreams and the shoes of your actual life?

I used to think "when I grew-up" I'd shop at Anne Taylor. Somehow at 45, they STILL seem too grown-up for me. I have a hard time being comfortable in anything other than "play clothes" it seems. You??