Hang in there Penny. A couple months to go.

Hey people. Last week I made my third attempt at winter mountain biking, my most successful to date, but still not a total win.

See, when I started riding the trail in summer, it was fun zoominess, interspersed with hard to impossible climbs, and sprinkled liberally with sheer terror. But there was enough fun zoominess to keep me going until lots of the terror became zoomy fun, and the hard climbs got easier, and the impossible ones hard. Practicing lets me get faster, which makes me have to use up more brain, which is a super nice little slice of escapism in my day.

Adrenaline + woods + challenge + escapism = addiction that won't wreck my life.

Winter riding is way different (for me). It's way slower. At my skill level, with my less-than-ideal equipment, it's mostly grannyish pedalling, broken up by some tentative one foot stuck out coasting down hills, lots of dabbing, (some of that on the fly-- that's as zoomy as I've gotten), Driving Miss Daisy clown bike climbs, and lots of walking the bike uphill (or the unattractive waddling) (it returned). I kept reminding myself I'd made it a goal to ride the trail this winter. I couldn't give-up. I'd be way too pissed at myself.

"Brick walls are just there to keep people who want it less badly out."

Mostly it just made me miss summer riding though. I imagine it's like dating the sister of someone you're in love with, because it's the best you can do. Here are the homemade gaiters I came up with to keep my pants out of the chain. They're sale-rack Target socks with the toes and heels cut off. (Sometimes the more I shop, the cheaper I get.) $66 for gaiters? I think not. These were less than $3.

I miss riding so much I've been fantasizing about all the fun I'm going to have this summer. Last week I was even looking at this 100 mile race held on gravel roads and going, "Yeah, I could do that. It'd be fun!" -- forgetting how sick I get of having my bones shaken apart after riding only a few miles of gravel.

Yesterday I asked Dan, "Will you take some pics of me hugging Penny?" Him- "Sure, but why?" Me-- "Because we miss each other."

I've been getting outside and doing other stuff all winter. Friday I went XC skiing with T-Pam, as usual. We have a really nice groomed 10k loop right by my house. Before I went with her, I went with another pal and her dog. The dog would pull her down all the hills and beyond, leaving me in her dust, and I'd have to really pour it on to catch up. By the time I was almost through my second loop with Pam, who is faster than me, I was bonking hard (running out of fuel).

At one point she started talking about Buca Di Beppo and I literally started drooling. I go, "You are so lucky you don't smell like a giant piece of garlic bread right now, and that there's no way I could catch you and gnaw anything off."

100 miles? On gravel?? What the hell had I been thinking? I couldn't even ski 20k without bottoming out.

I went running yesterday for the first time in like, two months. Oh my god am I out of shape! (running shape) You'd think skiing 10k almost every day and hiking around in the snow would have been keeping my fitness level up, but running is a whole other thing for me. It's definitely the hardest thing I do.

(Here's me comforting Penny. Our separation has been really tough on her. Poor Penny.)

Now we're getting into the time of year where the snow will start to melt. While everyone else will be all "spring-- yay!" I'll be like-- no snow, no skiing-- "Boo!" and mud all over, no riding-- "Boo!" I won't be able to do anything BUT run, which will probably be really good for me, because if I'm going to get faster at riding this summer, I should really lose like, 10 more lbs.

More than words

Hey people. It's the final "Gettin' It On Feb" Fav Music Fri post and it's a doozie.

First up is something a friend sent me. It's pretty funny, but also makes me just shake my head. Be sure to click so you can read this.

Next I have something to be honest I wasn't sure about sharing on here, but it just so damned funny. It is, however, one of the most obscene things I've ever seen, even if it is just line drawings, so be warned-- adult content-- totally NSFW. I'm just going to post the link so there's no accidental views. It's an ad from French t.v. (ah, the French).

Then there is today's music pick. This one has been in the bullpen for a while, and is a gorgeous song. It's so simple-- just guitar and voice. I think it's funny their drummer & bass player are still in the vid, just reading a magazine and hanging out. "Take five dudes." Enjoy "More Than Words" by Extreme.



Been a tough week here in paradise. Was not feelin' the love much AT ALL a few days ago. Hubs kind of lost it and had a very uncharacteristic spaz-out at me in public. He didn't make a huge spectacle of himself, but first of all, it always sucks to get yelled at no matter the circumstance, secondly-- what upset him wasn't really even my fault, and lastly-- I really HATE drama, especially in public. I felt like he'd just stormed out of the double-wide in a stained t-shirt and hurled beer cans at me in front of a bunch of my friends. (and not even friend-friends, acquaintance friends, who probably just thought he always acts like this.)

I felt like total shit.

Anyone who knows hubs at all knows this is completely strange. Is probably having a hard time even imagining this. He is one of the nicest, mellowest guys you'll ever meet. It was pretty freaky, and upsetting. We all have our moments don't we?

After, I was really bummed and thought it would take a long time for me to feel good about us again. But he rallied. He could see how it affected me and we talked and talked until I felt as good as I could about it at the time, which still wasn't stellar. The next day he actually went to the card store (I know. Big.).

It wasn't the card. It was the fact he made a special trip there on his own, and how he wrote a very heartfelt "please forgive me" note in it detailing what went wrong and how bad he felt about it all. Way to pull it out of the dumper hubs. Good save. We still have some more talking to do. That's how it works. That's why it's a real-life 26 year long relationship and not a lifetime movie.

But all in all, we're good.

The reason I'm letting you all rummage around in my private life is partly to let anyone who witnessed the big freak-out know that was a really bizarre incident, not just the way things roll around here, and that everything is now fine. Another reason is to remind everyone relationships are awesome, and sharing your life with someone gives your life dimension and having that connection is irreplaceable-- but it is a lot of work. Worthwhile, but always work.

Ever hear, "You get what you pay for?" You have to be willing to do the hard stuff too.

What if there were no rules?

Hey people. Today is kind of a philosophical Weird Wed. I met a guy the other day who was trying to explain his lifestyle. I have to admit, at the time he caught me I had a bunch of other stuff on my mind, so was kind of distracted and my brain was kind of fried. To top it off, his explanation involved lots of legalese. When someone says, "In 1971, the supreme court ruled bla bla bla" it's about as meaningful to me as a complex math equation.

You know what happens next right? In my brain? That's right-- this:

Anyway, what I got out of it all was that this guy does not file or pay taxes of any kind, doesn't have tabs on his truck, doesn't make house payments or credit card payments-- he's basically opted-out of the entire financial system. He claims this is all legal, because of various constitutional stuff and legal decisions etc he was quoting. He thinks the government is too big. He thinks big corporations should pay for stuff like social services. He gets his mail general delivery. He says 35 million people are living this way in the U.S.

I have no idea if this is true, or why this guy isn't in a cell or homeless. I did a quick internet search and found some wiki stuff about tax resisters/tax protesters, but still don't feel like I know anything about this. There is a chance everything this guy was saying is true. Maybe we've all been had.

I guess the interesting question to me is, say this was a viable option-- opting out-- would you take it?

Hold that thought.

I've also been having a few other interesting convos lately. Someone else I know is very upset about "capitalism." When I questioned them further about this their main beef seemed to involve the way Americans in particular have fallen into a pattern of retail therapy. He said marketing/advertising is designed to chip away at our self-esteem and make us feel unless we are able to acquire this or that thing, or brand, we're "less than", etc etc. I think this person feels large corporations are controlling everything in some malevolent way. He's trying to figure out a way to opt out.

I think many of us have felt that large corporations abuse power when they can get away with it, but they also fund major research etc. I don't like to see that unhealthy type of consumerism that bothers this guy either, and Americans can be, let's face it, kind gross in this way.

But is the free market fundamentally broken or do we just need to be more cognisant of our purchasing choices?

Hold that thought.

I also had a convo recently with someone I know who is really religious. I'm not. I'm not "anti" per-se. If someone feels they get something positive from church or whatever, good for them. It's just not my thing, and I do resent people who are pious and self-righteous. This person has a hard time understanding my thinking. If I'm not religious they tend to think I have no beliefs at all, which isn't true.

I don't believe in hell. This other person does. Their position was, of course, "it says in the bible" etc etc, but I kept after them trying to get them to think beyond their programming and they eventually said hell was something that kept people in line. That it was a consequence of not obeying the way "God" wants people to act/be.

My response was, "So, are you saying the only thing preventing you from going on a giant killing spree, or stealing everything not nailed down, or being generally a big ass-- is fear of going to hell?"
Them- "Um, ... no?"

So if there were "no rules", would there be complete mayhem or would human nature dictate some basic agreed upon, if unspoken, standards of behavior? Would group think level out at about the same point anyway?

It is so interesting to me the way people think differently about things. Right now with globalization and the internet, it feels like it could be a time of a real shift in the way people think. Long held conventions could begin to crumble. This is scary to some, exciting to others.

I like to still believe in the fabled "great society," -- where everyone contributes, and there are wonderful public works projects like parks, and an infrastructure that functions seamlessly, and the sick and old are cared for. For some reason when I think of this it's always set in either the turn of the century (not this last one, the other sepia-toned one, with the ice skating and bustles and giant redwoods), or in the distant future (you know, the one with- silver spandex jumpsuits and monorails, and jet packs, and, of course, flying cars).

I guess I would not opt out, but I also don't feel everything works perfectly.
What do you guys think about all this?

And that, People, Is How To Drift...

Hey people. Here's a Video of one of the side events from a mountain bike race I checked-out yesterday at the trail. There was other cool hijinx going on too, that of course my camera battery died just in time for.

This is called the "Ice Burn-Out Competition". I was really surprised more people didn't step up, but oh well. Rich and Verlon kept us entertained for a while anyway. Verlon (red shorts) was ruled the *winnah*.



I have tons more pics and footage and am working on a longer more comprehensive video but it will take a few more days. I'll put it up when I get it done.

In other SueNews:

I now have 7 weeks until my next show. I finally checked the calendar-- Hmm, those things come in handy when planning stuff don't they? I've got ideas. That's a start. I just need to get my butt out there and weld.

Mostly I feel like writing right now because my WIP (work in progress) has taken a major u-turn. I had a neat little YA thriller all mapped-out-- I'd done and re-done my outline, and re-wrote the first 10k words 4 different times before starting totally from scratch.

I think the thing is-- I've never been into puzzles. You dump out all these pieces, and you already know they're all part of it-- they all fit some way and it will all make sense-- and you already know the picture on the box, so know what it's supposed to look like. Your success is virtually a lock right?

That is just way less interesting to me that wandering into some secluded, overgrown shed full of weird old crap and just digging around and seeing what happens.

So bottom line-- I'm letting the story just run out now (with a few very rough outline notes) and hoping by the end I'll have something publishable. So far it feels really mint. You never know-- maybe this will be the one. Maybe I've finally learned enough from the other 4 or so under the bed.

Kind of glad after the April 10th show my calendar is pretty clear except for a few commissions. I should be able to write a lot.

Hell of a Weird Wed discussion tuning-up. See ya then.

Get fighty

Hey people. Two Feb fav Music Fri's left for Gettin' It ON Feb. Today I did have this just plain gorgeous love song picked out, a couple actually, but I am just not feeling sentimental today. A little more of a "someone got me wet and fed me after midnight" vibe in Sue Land, so you get something a little different.

This first one is a shout-out to all my roughed-up gal pals. When love takes a dump on you, all you can do is drag yourself up off the mat, process a bit, and rock being you, even it's a brand new version of you. Enjoy "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera. She might be pop, but still has the most amazing pipes ever.



Keep fighting the good fight-- to be awesome and rule your world, benevolently. (But kick ass when you abs have to.) Be the king of you. ~fist pump~

This next one is just plain fun. I went through a phase where I was super into Big Band music, and used to really wish I lived back then-- in WWII. It seemed like such an exciting era. Now I'm quite happy to be here-- now, but they did have some cool tunes back in the day.

I love how she plays with that here, and dirties it up a little in a playful way too. Playfulness is about my favorite quality in people, assuming they've got the honorable, general coolness nailed down. Here's "Candyman", also by Christina.



In other SueNews:

Very psyched about another mountain bike race this weekend. It's the last one of the winter, and the biggest, and there are lots of extracurricular activities and hijinx planned so I should be high for a couple days off it anyway.

My camera came back all fixed from the warranty repair center. People are def more motivated to help you out when you're super nice to them.

I tried riding the trail this week-- ~fail~. It was pretty hilarious actually. What spurred me on was running into this sort of imaginary nemesis over there one day. I took my bike (Penny) over to ride through this little zippy race course they made in the back parking lot, but was mainly going over to hike around and go sliding.

So I'm riding around with giant snowboots on, and my big mittens, and a saucer sled strapped to my back, when this lost dog showed up. I invited it to join my tribe. (I'm real good with the doggy peeps. I used to want to be a trainer.) After getting over her initial, ruff-bristling fear, she did, and then hung out with me while I rode up and down looking for her owner, or at least someone with a cell (she had tags).

Who shows up, but this guy who was in the Halloween race with me last year. We sort of plagued each other. There was one section where people kept getting backed up, and he wanted me to move out of the way, but there was nowhere to pull off, and five or six people right in front of me blocking me. When I could finally let him past, he was in MY way because he couldn't ride up the hills. So without meaning to, and it not being anyone's fault, we were sort of frustrating each other.

Since he was over there riding on the day of the lost dog (owner found, dog returned safely home btw), it made me feel I needed to de-wuss and get on it and try winter riding again.

Like I said-- ~fail~.

First Penny tried to eat the pants right off my leg, which was a drag because they got a big rip in them, and it was frustrating because I couldn't climb hills hardly AT ALL. In summer when it gets tough I just stand up and hammer, plus I'm carrying more speed into the climb-- but on snow you can't. Your butt needs to stay on the seat to keep weight on the back tire. When I lost forward momentum my tire would start to spin out. That wrecks the trail, so I'd have to get off and walk.

Pushing your bike through the snow is def not as fun as riding. The worst news of all, is that so far arch nemesis is winning you guys! I know! (can not abide) I'm going to have to figure this out. Or just settle for totally owning him this summer.

If only you got points for trash talking. I'd be the effing KING then. ~struts~

Olympic fever

Hey people. I'm going to take a ton of crap for this because almost every woman I know is actually into this aspect of the Olympics, but-- I'm sorry-- ice dancing just makes me want to puke.

Yes, I get that they're in super shape, train like crazy, sacrifice anything resembling a normal life to pursue their "sport", but, come on.

I'm pretty sure even Sir Elton John is going, "Seriously?" I've been trying to think of ways they could, I don't know-- jazz it up a little. Put a little lipstick on this pig. Perhaps have them skate through clouds of balloons? --Or have "back-up skaters", you know, like Lady Gaga has?

I'm sorry. Dancing with the stars, performed on ice, may take athleticism, and skill, but good fricking lord! Does it HAVE to be so completely effing freakish? I'm pretty sure if My Little Ponies were actual living beings, they'd somehow be herded onto the rink and included in this fiasco.

Best line ever (from a twitter pal) -- "I get to put my hand there all the time, without having to suffer the humiliation of being a male figure skater." *win*

Bitch please. What more is there to say?

This gem is from The Onion. Be sure to click to enlarge so you can navigate the complete course.

Personally, I think there should be an event that involves assembling an entire Ikea six drawer dresser in the freezing cold while onlookers mercilessly clang cowbells at you.


Should be a snap.

In all seriousness, look for "saucer running" in the next winter games. And perhaps pix/vid when I get my camera back from the repair shop this week.

I also think wood sled surfing behind an ATV would be a great addition to the games.

What imaginary sport would you invent?

Way to be awesome

Hey people. As promised-- this week we pull it out of the dumper and get back to being *awesome*. (I totally want shirt like this.)

So how do we do that? -- you ask. There is something to be said for fake it 'til you make it. To a large extent being happy is a choice you make. All over the world people work shit jobs and have terrible health problems and struggle against crushing poverty, and still manage to smile and crack jokes and make friends, and be, you know-- happy.

I feel a shift happening already.

One thing that helps me feel good is good food. You can abuse that sure, or you can use it positively, treating you and your body good by feeding yourself really healthy, good foods. This is what Dan made us for V-day breakfast. Looks not very healthy, but the bread was the good kind (plus, cherries are a fruit right?), and later we had fish and veggies. Balance.

Beauty is another mood lifter for me. I'm lucky. All I have to do is look right outside my window. But you can find beauty anywhere if you try. Seek it out.

Get moving! This is KEY for me. Those endorphins! I feel kind of gross and fat right now-- and most of that is just my bad mood, but I know when I start running this week (TODAY!) I'll feel loads better.

Check out how awesome the trail is right now. I'm going to try a new mode- running with my saucer! Then when I get to a hill I can "help groom it" for the riders by zooming down on my sled, then resume my run. I predict this will become a new fitness craze. "Wee!"

Other ways I know of to fight the blues-- Get out of your head. I'm going to make it a point to try to spread awesome vibes to at least one person a day. If you're concentrating on trying to make other people feel good, it makes you feel good.

Get busy. Let's face it-- inertia is not good when you're feeling down. It might feel like a forced march at first, but you'll build momentum as you go. I've got plenty of work to do, so not problem there for me. :) If you've got nothing-- find a project. Now.

Get together. Make a point of scheduling some stuff with friends/family. Isolating may be very tempting, but avoid it. It's like carbon monoxide.

Get the flow going. This is kind of a weird concept, but I picture energy flowing through me like a straw, and when I'm feeling all blocked and crabby, it helps to get rid of the "old" energy and make room, or pull "new energy" into me. This is kind of like "get moving", but can be something less active too, like singing. (just an example) I don't subject other people to my loud bad singing, but it feels great to do it. It probably even just helps to visualize this happening. (?)

What do you guys do? Are you up for a shift in attitude right about now?