Capping The Hydrant, Kind Of...

Ok so I've eluded to an energy fluctuation issue. It's just something I've learned about myself over time. I used to think of it as a problem-- "Why couldn't I just feel normal all the time?" Actually, "Why can't there be one thing long enough for it to become 'the normal'?" Then I learned my pendulum just swings. That is my normal. So I live kind of like a surfer-- watching for sets. The only time I don't like it is when a deadline forces me to shift gears, when it would be more convenient not to. I can. It just takes some management.

What it feels like when I'm having lots of energy and get pulled off a project-- (like being forced to make a bajillion earings and necklaces and dozens of attractive little groupings of trees etc for my show instead of working on my story)-- is like a firehose hooked up top a water wiggle. Frustrating and all over the place. Things like running, and hard biking help, because I can just let it gush out of me and it feels gratifying. Then when i'm done and some of the steam is vented off I can more easily focus. Try it sometime if you're feeling all nerved up, it helps.

Ok, so in light of all that oversharing I'm sure this---

looks pretty crazy. (You can click pic for bigger weirdness.) No i haven't lost it. These are some depictions of some of the ghosts from my novel. They're called "The Watchers." What do you think? Creepy? Disturbing? Kind of cool?

Other things that went on Wed-- behold my pretend drumset. The cookie sheet is my kick. It kind of sucks I have to say. Craig's has sets for around $300- $500, but I've only had two lessons. I don't think Dan will quite go for it. He was awesome when I broke the drum lesson news to him though-- no eye rolling, no saying, "where's this supposed to lead?" or shouting "LOOOOOSEEEEE!" He just kind of nodded and said, "Well, I go on fishing trips and stuff. I guess we're pretty even." He knows there are some things I just need to do to keep the wheels from falling off. He says he likes my risk taking, because it's the opposite of him. (See why Dan Auerbach never had a chance?) (Still love you though Mr. Auerbach... as a friend.)

The other activity was making what I've been told is the best beef stew ever. I've never actually tasted it, being mostly a vegetarian, but Dan likes it and takes it to his annual "cabin weekend" with his pals. They used to call it "hunting", and reportedly there was a bit of strolling around carrying shotguns, but no one ever shot anything (yay). Then they went with "fishing trip" for a while, but again, not really any fish. In actuality all that happens is a lot of poker playing and beer drinking, and, now that they're all middle aged, a lot of being hung-over and lamenting about how they just can't party like they used to. Anyway, Dan likes it, the guys like it, it's one small thing I can do to make him happy-- so I make sure it happens. Ahh love.

Today is thurs and I just returned from drum lesson # 2 where we actually worked on "boom che boom boom che" the whole time, trying to count measures and land on a cymbal crash. God I'm hopeless, not really, I can keep the beat at least, but it definitely uses my brain a different way than I'm used to, and it is really fun, even if I'm dorkily nervous around Tyler.

Tomorrow I attend my first meeting with the loft novel writers. I'm nervous, but have prepared my feedback. I hope it's a good fit.

If you want to check out my training wheels tempo for drum practice check out "My doorbell" in the player by Jack flippin' White and The White Stripes.

The Black Keys Visit My Driveway!

Me: "Pat! Dan! Wow-- I can't believe it! What the heck are you guys doing here? How are you?"

Pat: "Hey Sue-- We're good, we're good. Wow, you look awesome. Doesn't she look great man?"

Dan: (beaming) "Yeah man, she totally does."

Pat: "Well, we heard you finally got "Attack and Release" over on iTunes and we thought we'd just stop on by and see what you thought of it."

Dan: "Yeah," (kind of nervously) "So, How'd you like it?"

Me: "Well, I have to tell you guys, when I heard about this last album I was reticent. One of the reasons I love you is your whole, "let's just throw a cardboard box over that mic and record this sucker in an old tire plant" indie thing. When I heard you were bringing in some hiphop guy to produce... But I have to say, after listening... --it totally won me over!"

Pat: "Seriously? Wow, thanks."

Dan: "Yeah, that means so much coming from you. (tearing up a bit but still totally maintaining his manliness) It kind of makes it all worthwhile, the touring, the road food, all the work..."

Me: "Well, I mean it! -- Strange Times?-- Pat you were on fire man! Those opening drums rocked my socks! And "Psychotic Girl"?-- that tinkley piano bit?-- creepily cool man."

Pat: "We totally wrote that one for you."

Me: "Yeah, I figured. But Dan, there is something I need to talk to you about..."

Pat: "Here it comes dude."

Dan: (bracing himself) "Yeah?"

Me: "So He Won't Break"? -- not to mention "Act Nice And Gentle"? You have to stop trying to make me fall in love with you, seriously. I already have a Dan with deep soulful eyes. I love you guy, just not in that way. The female repelling beard?-- I know you've been trying to save yourself for me, but you need to move on. I'm old enough to be your cool babysitter."

Dan: "Did you see how I paid tribute to you in that video (see bottom of post)-- the lady who tried to come up to me while I'm playing?"

Me: "Yeah, Thanks. Anyway, this isn't healthy. You need to drop it."

Dan: "But we totally have that..." (Here his does that thing where he flicks his fingers between our sets of eyes.)

Me: "I know. I know honey. We'll always have that."

Dan: "And that mmph..." (peering longingly into my face)

Me: "I know-- we'd burn the fricking house down. But it's not going to happen. (Now I gently touch his arm) You know how special you are to me, but we can only be friends."

Pat: "Ugh-- dude."

Me: "Are we ok Dan?"

Dan: (smiling and giving me a little sideways hug) "Oh sweety, we'll always be ok."

Pat: "God I'm bored with this. Can you make me a sandwich or something?"

Me: "Sure. Come on you knuckleheads."

Hey-- Just because I can't write full time right now doesn't mean there's not still a whole lot of fiction happening... Seriously-- give these guys a listen and buy their music.

Fricking youtube's embed failed-- again! (or, I guess, disabled. It was me.)-- just use the link to see their rocking (and hilarious video) in which the part of "ME" is played by a professional actress...

HERE

Chicken Of The Sea Disturbia

Awwwe. What could possibly be wrong and bad about this adorable carving of what appears to be a perfectly happy nine year old girl? Look at her little smirky smile....

"Akk!" Do I even need to explain it people? -- No, no I do not. This reminds me disturbingly of Brittany Spears. No wonder that poor girl got so messed up. Thank you, a million times, to whoever put those shells on her.

My energy has been all over the place the last few days. Anyone ever seen the "Annuell" video from SNL? (sit thru commercial, worth it) TMI I know, but-- it is what it is. Sorry. A blaster of a short run this morning took care of some of the ugly. The rest of the day will be spent jamming out, welding, and thinking over the whole story line of #2-- which I'm now unsure of (natch), constructing some kind of pretend drum set in the spare room so I can practice (it would be truly humiliating to be lectured by Tyler at my next lesson) , being thankful, on behalf of humanity, that I have no psychic powers than make annoying people and bad drivers vaporize, and of course, obsessive email checking.

If you want to get a reading of my mood today check out "monkey wrench" in the player. Scarily I do know the entire section that is nothing more than a screaming scree by heart. Thank you Dave Grohl. Some days it just helps to know you're not the only lunatic out there.

Having A Sail

Went on the annual "yaya" sailing trip on White Bear Lake today. As always, it was perfect in every way-- sunny skies, moderate temps, light winds, good food... This is Jim, Sue's husband and our ever faithful (read; long-suffering) boat captain. He's never been captured on film or otherwise. His name may not even be Jim.....
This is me demonstrating my rendition of Michael Phelps's "Help- my mouth is too big for all my teeth" smile. I also dislike having my picture taken, despite all bloggular evidence to the contrary.

These are the fabulous yayas. Actually, I don't really use that name-- yayas anymore, although I'm pretty sure some of the rest do. Shortly after we began meeting 12 years ago we all read that book-- you know the one, "The Divine secrets of the yaya sisterhood," and like throngs of others drank the koolaide and decided we needed to form our own tribe of yayas too. You know how I get about popular things-- boooooo. Now I just call these my "wed night girls". They are divine though don't you think? -- artists and / or writers all. From the left me, Sue (who lets us ride in her boat), Lynn, and Kris.
The group formed around a workshop organized by blondie over there (my genius writer pal Kris) based on the book "The Artist's Way". If you are creative in any way, and sorry to discriminate but female-- (it's not specifically for women, I just have a hard time seeing a guy "go there" on many of the exercises-- Consider the gauntlet flung down dudes.)-- I highly recommend it.

I was going through another "out of the box" analytical phase when I hooked-up with these gals.

Since about age eleven I'd been running from one open gate to another in an attempt to create a life without fences. Nothing was going to tie me down once I broke for open ground. I'd dropped out of college and worked my way up the ladder of retail (you could still make yourself indispensable enough back then, if you worked really hard and had a brain, to circumvent a degree to some extent) without considering where the ladder was going-- into a box. Yuck.

For some reason I poked my head up long enough to take a good look around and pull the plug. What was the point of every chance I'd ever taken if I was going to wind up in a life I couldn't stand? It wasn't an overnight transformation. There have been a lot of missteps and pit stops along the way, but that book and these gals came along at a very pivotal point for me, and I'll always be grateful.

It's your life. Don't chicken out.

Big Casino

Check Jimmy Eat World's "Big Casino" out for this week's "Fri Fav Lyrics" pick.

"Back when I was younger
I was someone you'd have liked
Got an old guitar I had for years I'd let you buy
And I'll tell you something else
that you ain't dying enough to know;
There's still some living left when your prime comes and goes

Get up, get up
Dance on the ceiling
Get up, get up boy you must be dreaming
Rock on young savior
Don't give up your hopes

Lots of great lines. You the man Jim Adkins.
Have a great weekend everyone.

Big Thursday

Check it people--- my "out of the box" list?-- Mission freakin' accomplished, plus one, in pretty much one day. Oh my God am I stoked right now!

First of all exhibit A-- Behold Tyler, my new drum instructor. "Um, Can I keep him mom?-- I promise to feed and walk him every day!" Seriously, he's not just cute, a musician (aka cat nip), and youthfully spunky (it's so endearing, the enthusiasm, the optimism, the sparkliness), but he's very nice, patient, seems to know what he's doing(?), and the artwork adorning his practice room indicates he is apparently loved by the towns folk's kiddies. Me likey so far. Ever since my first lesson today a steady, insistent "Boom, che, boom boom che" has been running through my head. Jamtastic!

Exhibit B-- Trusty Pam and I actually rode the mountain bike course today-- not the whole thing, but the beginner loop and a section of the intermediate. As you can see Pam acted as my stunt double once again. She took this dirt half pipe the trail snakes through in an "S" full blast and executed an impressive sliding sider. Usually when we run this thing I stick my arms out as if flying. It's a huge dip. Pam likes speed. A lot. This gets her into trouble. If only I had some kind of camera crew following her. Truly pamtacular. Last winter she wiped out on her bike and wound up making an inadvertent snow angel that missed being a dog poo angel by about an inch and a half. Luckily she seems to be made of some impervious space age material.

Exhibit C-- Ok, This wasn't on my list-- this is the plus one. These shoes...................(suspense building, building)......WILL TOTALLY BE GOING TO WEEZER OCT 4TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've expressed my Weezer-love before, but for the uninitiated; I love the "scampering" quality of their rock, and the unabashedly boyish dorkiness, both accomplished with kerrangtastic guitars.

Floor tickets people-- that's right, right in the middle of the flailing, jumping around, rocking action. My husband's nephew and his girlfriend and I are going together. They're about 23 or 4, so they're my "cover". I'd never have the guts to go alone. When I was young I was too poor to go to concerts. Then I got, you know, old-----er. Now I'm thinking, "what the hell?" I still feel all rowdy, I love music, and now that I'm cloaked in my layer of awesome fortyness, I can interact with all the rocking out people without risk of, you know, complications. Nobody there will be looking at me, or mistaking my totally jamming out for being secretly in love with them or whatever. I am going to totally unleash the rocking-out at this thing... be afraid, be very afraid-- or be enthused, if you're afraid just keep it to yourself harshmallow.

--Ahem,...Ahh, if anyone has any Weezer connections that may get me backstage--- coolage.

Lastly, Exhibit D-- OK, I said I wanted to find a writer's group, hopefully affiliated with The Loft-- one has magically appeared. Some folks who've already gone through the advanced novel writing program wanted one more member for their group and have invited me to attend a meeting. This is certainly a "Let's see if it's a good fit" thing I'm sure. But two people who's work is being discussed sent me their pages today and I meet them next week. I'm excited and nervous, but mostly excited. It feels like a lot of stuff is suddenly falling into place. I'm diggin it.

Salute My Solution

Get your rock on!
Check out Jack flippin' White and the fabulous Raconteurs rocking your face off in the video for "Salute Your Solution." I defy you to shake nothing people. (Come on, you know you want to.)

So in an effort to embrace my shift to welding mode I composed a little list as I was working today.

THE PROS AND CONS OF WORKING IN MY DRIVEWAY

1) Pro- Maximum jamming out time. When I'm writing that's impossible - need to concentrate. But in the driveway I can hold my own all day iPod rave.
Con- No real downside here, except possibly for the neighbors who occasionally witness this spectacle or overhear me "whooping" guitargasmically along with Jack.

2) Pro- Proximity to computer allows me to obsessively check email every couple of hours for possible agent replies.
Con-- See above.

3) Pro- Being outside allowed me to beat the cats to the stunned bird who smashed into my window this morning and save it from being devoured.
Con- Being outside allowed me to become riddled with guilt when said bird went into cardiac arrest and died in my hand. If only I'd had a very tiny crash cart... and some kind of bird medical training.

4) Pro- Able to enjoy occasional welding mojo; sweet welds, awesome cuts, pretty rust, etc.
Con- It's not writing, and I miss hanging out with my cool characters all day.

5) Pro- Not in a cubicle or in some occupation requiring high heels and/or fake smiling or (shudder) math.
Con- Pretty much no down side here either.

All in all, I have to admit I have it pretty sweet. Not to rub it in but I have to wrap it up now and go throw the kayaks on the car. It's almost time for trusty Pam to get off work.