Yeeeee Hawwwww

Hey people. Welcome to South Texas. It's flat as fuck.

Seriously. It's flat literally as far as the eye can see- to the curvature of the Earth. And also pretty uninteresting, and usually super hot and windy, yet super humid too, and there are roving packs of vicious dogs because no one here ties them up, lots of wandering illegals (which I don't mind per-se, but when a bunch of shifty looking dudes are eyeing you from the edge of a sugar cane field in the middle of no where, it makes you nervous), and oh-- fire ants. Let's not forget the fire ants.

At my sister's place it's very nice. I stay in their "pool house", which is exactly what it sounds like, a whole little private guest house behind their pool, like in Hollywood or something.

It's like a little oasis.

Which is nice because everything outside the fence is just this--

You're probably thinking, "Why? Why in God's name would you ever go down there? Well, because mah seestah lives there, and that makes it worth the trip.

Plus there are her kids. Megan is 8 and growing more talented and mature every time I see her. She's a deep thinker, talks about "her real self, inside" etc. She's my girl. Jaden is a boy. They are wild animals. He is 5 & 1/2, but becoming tamer. He's going to be funny-- says stuff like, "Hello ladies, would anyone like to meet an astronaut??" Also- the boy likes to rock. We will become good friends when he is completely human.

Although at the moment he's still prone to doing stuff like this for extended periods of time--



It doesn't even seem to be designed specifically to drive us insane, it's just enjoyable for him on some level we may never understand. Boys = weird.

When I first got down there I got to stay at their lake house. Sis's hubs is kind of rich. This was the view from my guest room which is basically a penthouse. That's mist rising off the lake below.

Here's the view coming down the stairs from my room. Nice huh? It's in what is called the "hill country" down there because the ground there is lumpy and this is amazing to Texans. It's really quite pretty, different, more arid, but cool.

I could never make it down there (live). For one thing, I'm not rich, so couldn't create all these plushy interiors for myself, and there isn't much to do outside there, what with all the packs of dogs and fire ants and super hotness etc. Once I tried to go running and when I came home, after being chased by dogs along the bank of an irrigation ditch, and vaulting over a fire ant habitat, the guys working in her yard startled and began to scatter.

She later explained the only time anyone down there sees someone running is when they are being chased.

No matter how rich you are or how nice your house is, you still live here--- (note flatness, fast food chain, giant American flag, palm trees, and gaudy neon colored flocked Christmas trees. Katie felt this picture exemplifies S. Texas holiday magicalness. You can click for a better view of the flocked-up trees.)

Katie's life is WAY different than mine, and we are way different from each other. She's managed to find happiness here. I'd have become a pill-popping alcoholic psychopath a looonngg time ago. She even manages to see beauty in the desolation. This is a favorite tree of hers at their lake house. It IS prettier there, and this is a cool tree.

I made her pose like she was taking a nap in the tree. I really like how this picture came out. We are the same in the way that nature feeds our souls, and Katie's soul is often half-starved. I like seeing her peaceful, or laughing and having fun.

Which seems to happen a lot when we are together. Here we were at the "International House Of Pancakes." That's right-- International. You guys probably have heard of this but never been there. Yes, we're jet setters.

When we are together we can have fun sitting in a cardboard box. We make jokes out of everything and try to out-funny each other constantly. It would probably be hard for anyone else to be around us for long periods of time because we are giant dorks and think even the most boring stupid things are hilarious. Like riding in the car and singing along...



Yes, someone now has a video camera. :D

Another thing that entertained us for hours (remember-- we were in flat as fuck S. Texas, and it was raining and crappy out the entire time) was looking around in stores and pretend trying on clothes. For those who've never done this-- it's when you take the hanger and put it over your head so the outfit is hanging on the front of your body, over your normal clothes.

We'd do this and practice our super model walks. The general public was massively entertained by this too (you're welcome Target and Forever 21 and Dillards shoppers). Here's me laughing so hard I can't breath and showing off my underwear modeling skills in Target.



There may be a video at some point of our exploits to music if and when I figure that out. I had a great time but am happy to be home now, back with Dan and the kitties and hello----the outdoors (kisses the lovely frozen MN ground), and my pals.

See you Wed people.