The fuse is lit people

Hey people. First of all the sliding party is officially canceled.

I'm still totally having it, but will reschedule it when it's a little warmer, and maybe after another snowfall. The hill over there is hard as a frigging rock right now, and besides, tons of you guys liked this idea, but have either wussed because of the bitter cold, or will be out of town, so.... I'll let you know when I reschedule. It will be ON though-- mark my words.

Since everyone is thinking of resolutions right now I just thought I'd add my two cents. We do this every year-- think about our lives and make a bunch of promises to ourselves. Some of them we keep, some seem to get put on the back burner.

This is my grandma. She's 94 (or 5, there seems to be a slight controversy over this 1% margin of error). This pic is from a few years ago. Yesterday I spent all day with her in the emergency room.

This would normally be my mom's gig, but she's out of town, so I'm putting in some extra time. She can't do much for herself anymore, needs to be driven everywhere and an elbow to hang onto to walk, and gets really winded doing almost anything.

We went in yesterday because her heart-rate shot up and it freaked her out. I can be blunt because she's never going to see this (not internetty). Basically the hospital people were all very nice, and it turned out her heart was okay. She mistook the pressure in her chest caused by congestion to be a heart thing-- understandable considering she's in congestive heart failure.

But as they checked her over they'd kind of look at me like-- "and why are you guys here?" Basically, being 94 (or 5) and dying of heart failure isn't something you can fix. She's already said she doesn't want a bunch of tubes shoved into her etc. "If it comes to that, just let me go," she said.

But I guess if you or I were 94 (or 5) and someone tossed us in a river, our instinct would be to try to swim, even if we knew we were basically done for.

We had hours and hours to talk while we waited for the doctors etc to figure out if they were going to keep her or what. She told me she's so worn-out, has trouble feeling excited about anything anymore-- is just plain tired. She knows her time is about up, and I think feeling so drained is making her feel okay about that.

There is a 100% chance, she is going to die. There is a 100% chance, you, me and everyone we know is going to die--- and none of us, except maybe grandma, knows how long we have.

Basically, the wick is burning people. Not to put too fine a point on it, but whatever it is you've been thinking you'd like to do with your life or spend your time on, or check-out, or explore-- get the fuck on it.

Nothing we do here is all that important. Even if you are some brainiac working on the cure for some horrible disease, and manage to do that (scarlet fever, polio), there will always be another horrible disease to take its place (ALS, Alzheimer's). It's more about how you spend your time.

Are you spending it in a way that makes you feel fulfilled and awesome? Are you adding positive energy to the world rather than subtracting it? If so-- you are already doing it right. If not-- better get on that, because in a blink, it'll be over.