Wheelin' Wed

Hey people. So, um-- It's begun, my fantasizing about what a super-star I'll turn into this year.

I can't WAIT until the trail is ride-able again (probably not for a few more weeks). I've been walking around over there all winter, and have run a few times too, when conditions permitted. Now that the snow is melting I'm scoping out stuff that gave me problems last year, trying to figure out how this year, I'm going to conquer those features.

Naturally, in my head, it's not as hard as in real life. Remember this ad-- for "Marvel The Mustang"? (Yes-- I am super old.) The quality sucks, but see if it rings a bell.



I wanted one of those SO BAD you guys. I was about 4 when this ad aired, and I could so picture myself galloping along, the wind in my hair...

Over the winter I've occupied myself with looking at what amounts to porn for me online-- MTB videos on youtube, trying to learn whatever tips I can. I got it into my head a couple weeks ago one thing I'd learn this year, you know, in addition to flying over jumps etc, is doing a bunny hop. I actually convinced myself I'd go down to the garage and get on Penny and hop her around all over the place. At last it would be like having my very own Marvel The Mustang!

Not surprisingly, ~fail~. But I did at least practice bad track stands. Hey, got to start somewhere! You know you've got it bad when you're hanging out in your garage wearing snow boots goofing around on your bike, dreaming of summer.

I've been trying to dig up some girls to ride with on the MTB forum. I've had a tiny bit of luck. There are a few friendly gals around, but we're vastly out-numbered. I have this fantasy of getting all the girl riders together, like a secret biking bootcamp out in the woods, and trying to learn to do all the tricks the guys seem able to do without even trying-- wheelies, jumps, hops, etc. It would be so cool to be able to do all that stuff!! (and make it look as easy as they do.)

Maybe I need to get one of these.



Oh well. When the season gears up we'll see how far I get this year. In the meantime-- I dug out Hula (otherwise known as the dork bike) a couple days ago and me and T-Pam went for our first pavement ride. What a psych session! I couldn't help whooping it up and ringing my bell constantly like a giant spaz.

Kind of like with skiing, everything feels different now, after taking up mountain biking. The hills I used to get all tall on and ride the break, nervous-- I now get into attack position on, and hover low over the bike and accelerate down. Yeeee-freaking-HA!

Whoa-- time to weld! Later people-- Hey-- What are you guys getting psyched about? Will this be the best summer ever or what? What are some fun things coming up on your calendars?

New mode

Hey people. It's totally become spring around here. This weekend it actually got up to 64! If it snows next week that will seem like a pretty dirty trick at this point, but anything's possible. People are talking about record flooding this year. Our river is a little high, but actually, so far, not as high as other years. (This is a deck down by the river's edge, not our house or anything.)

One time when there was a "100 year flood" a few years ago, the water got all the way through the fifteen or so acres of woods behind our house up to our back yard, but has never made it to our house. We're not really worried.

Last night after work me and Dan went down to the river and had a couple beers with the next door neighbors we share the woods with. Here's me with massive helmet head.

They are artists too, so are their two grown daughters-- an artist & a writer. We feel pretty lucky, to live here, and with such cool people.

I have a show in less than four weeks now. I have a commission waiting and my best gallery is calling for more work, and the others have told me they're waiting too. I'm also planning another open-studio this summer. I'm going into a heavy art making phase. This weekend though, all I wanted to work on was the lady I'm making for the trail-- whose name, turns out, is Tina.

Sometimes things just reveal themselves. This was painted on the race car chassis I'm using to cover her with. So Tina it is.

She also got a job.

And a sponsor! Hmm. I guess she's a racer. How did that happen?

Some of you may have noticed me referring to a girl racer named Sam in a few of the race posts. She's the pretty blond who's been starring in the "move it" Blue Cross/Blue Shield t.v. ads. Now they're sponsoring her and her hubs for the 2010 mtb race season. They'll probably be helicoptered in to races now and have "people" and stuff.

I have to admit this racing idea is getting to me. I'd like to try it some more, but there is the whole fear of failure thing to contend with. I'd have to work really hard to improve to become good enough. Def not there yet. We'll see.

I'm pretty into her. It took me three days to finish framing her out-- (she was just roughed in before), and cover most of her jersey, but I have to put her aside again now. I'd like to have her completely finished in time for the show and bring her to show off. You never know-- might get a commission off her.

After that she can go to her new home at the trail. She represents a new level in my work. I have a few other large human figures kicking around. Now when I look at them compared to her-- they don't really hold up.

I love the trail. It's more than a place to me. It's like a power cord-- a life line. It's opened up so many possibilities in the last couple of years-- given me a sport I'm getting pretty passionate about, that has really leveled me out, and introduced me to a bunch of new friends too. It makes me feel good that I can contribute something to the park that other people will be able to enjoy. Plus-- selfishly, I don't really want to give this one up. I'm really attached. This way I can kind of keep her too.

I'm going to really get cranking now, on "work work", and try to finish her on weekends and after the whistle blows. Time to weld. Have a good one people.

Written In Reverse

Hey people. Symtomatic of my present mind-eff'd-ness, I had the hardest time picking out a song for today's Fav Music Fri. The process mirrored what's been going on with me creatively lately-- I had a few ideas, but when I looked up videos those bloomed into way more ideas, then I began thinking about it-- probably too much, and it just got more and more difficult to make a choice.

Then in the middle of the night I remembered this song, which hasn't been out that long, and it is PERFECT. Enjoy "Written In Reverse" by Spoon. (It's not really a vid, but listen anyway.)



It's so weird being sort of married to your work. When you're a creative, it's not just what you do, it's who you are, so how all that's going affects your moods and everything. Lately it's one of those phases where there's a lot of stuff roiling around building up pressure, but not being released in any gratifying way. ~frustrating~

With the writing-- it's easy to get into an almost masturbatory groove with it-- where it feels really good-- you're feeling that special alchemy of words from your head creating actual people and circumstances and it all sounds really good-- vivid. It's ON-- but then you see really it's not. It's just you playing with your tools, the words, messing around with a story that isn't really worth telling. And in this market-- the story is the thing that will sell your work.

If you are a writer and plan on holding onto your sanity (HA!), you are fated to walk a line between surrendering to the process, telling yourself that even if nothing ever happens with your work you'd still do it because you can't not do it, and trying to face reality-- it probably won't happen for you-- but it FOR SURE won't if your work is weak in any way.

So that's where I am. At this point I've written over 40k words of unpublishable crap (just for this one project), but it might be leading me to something through the back door of "well, I now know that approach doesn't work." Now I have to work on visual art. That's taking over my brain again, so I'm back to composing story lines in my head.

Is this a story that needs telling?
Why should anyone care what happens to this person?
What if all the major chunks of the story were shifted around so the reader had to figure out what this is a puzzle of?
How formative are events?
Can you win a war if you lose parts of yourself?

Gah. This story's written in reverse. Somebody call a hearse! The lighbulb's going off.
Here's how the sun woman came out. She's pretty cool, and I learned something important about expressions.

The welder awaits. Game on. Have a good weekend you guys.

Weird Wed is back-- kind of

Hey people. I've kind of hit the wall again as far as disturbia is concerned. A girl can only go to Axman so many times, and on recent forays I've noticed after a while all the creepy dolls begin to look the same. If you have any weirdness, send it my way.

This coat just grossed me out. I suppose it is rabbit, but there's orange in there too. God knows how many adorable animals were slaughtered for this, and I HOPE none were cats, but, there's really no telling. Blech. Why people don't gross out over fur is very strange to me. It's SKIN people.

I think we can all agree toddlers totally making out is just wrong and bad.

You can knock off, string theorists and dark matter researchers-- apparently all the answers have already been published. I'm sure home-schoolers will be quick to point out the "satanic" red and black coloring, and devil's insignia on the cover-- or is that suppose to be an atom?

The dolls are kind of all blurring together lately, but this one looked especially boozy. Maybe it's that milkaholic Lindsey from the E-trade talking baby commercials.

This book was so creepy you guys. It showed me though, why my mom's generation has always seemed so paranoid about everyone examining you and judging you. I almost bought it because it had so much in it-- how you're supposed to sit, talk, walk-- how your hair is supposed to look. It was basically a Stepford fembot owner's manual. Back in the day, I imagine the fact that this information was bound in an actual book gave it the weight of authority. Creeeeeepeeee.

I've been working away in the shop again. For those of you who think my life is 90% screwing off-- here's further proof that even when I appear to be doing nothing productive at all, I'm really working: (just go with it) My little sundress episode? I've decided I really want to make a series of sundress sculptures-- of gals playing.

You know, playing? Playfulness? My favorite quality? I'm liking it. It's a way of expressing my unicorn status too. Last night I went out with a friend and we talked about comfort zones etc and decided my ultimate zone is basically "off the market tomboy." Playing around doing outsidey stuff, joking around, being a smart-ass, etc-- basically playing with boys, as long as there is no sexual tension involved. The total little kid/ brother-sister vibe of goofing around.

Anyway, that fun of playing would be cool to try to bottle-- portray in sculptures. Here's a start.

I'm going to post more about making faces over on the art blog, probably tomorrow if anyone's interested.

I'd have to change careers...

Hey people. That's what I'd basically have to do to get my blog to look as cool in real life as it does in my head. Even the mock up below- (click to enlarge) doesn't fully encapsulate the coolage.

I'd settle for something like above, but it would be even cooler if some of the weird crap laying around the edges of my sketchbook could contain video panes, or were changeable pictures, or I could stick random post-its around whenever I felt like it, that had or didn't have links embedded.

Oh well. What I'd like to do is at least fix my stupid header so the picture of the slaghammer is in place of the green banner that has always been there-- and have it actually fit etc, and maybe have some words underneath the picture too. (Like the bit about "suck it brits". Seriously, if you knew how many UK hits I get...)

I'd also like to put pics in the sides instead of just the boring white space-- or light grey or whatever. I spent hours online looking up blogger template fixes and tips but couldn't get any to work. (I have a feeling I suck at this stuff.) My code never matched any of the stuff they were showing so I'd try to improvise and ~fail~. If anyone knows how to do any of this-- help!

See, I'm old school. I never learned any computer art apps. I came up drawing, you know, on regular old paper. I spent hours on this when I was a kid. As you can see, horses and models were favorite subjects. I'm glad I kept lots of this stuff.

This is my rockstar niece Megan. (She got her first goal in soccer this weekend. Woot Megan!) Isn't she gorgeous? She sometimes says she wants to be an artist like me when she grows up. ~Beams~ There are few things like that feeling of being completely pulled into the rabbit hole of your work-- your own world. She gets it. God help her.

I have to admit- the art has been kicking my butt lately. Or I've been kicking my own butt more accurately. I have a show in 5 weeks now. I basically burned the last two weeks farting around and deciding I'd much rather work on my writing than art (or go grocery shopping, or hike around in the woods, or just about anything besides get to work.)

It's now officially too muddy & melty to ride the trail, which wasn't working so well for me in winter anyway, so I'm reduced to planning summer rides. I've burned hours farting around doing this too. No one can procrastinate like me. I'm an expert. Thank God someone invented the internet to really enhance this skill.

Friday I actually managed to frame-out a human face though, so game on. I have a couple images in my head of women I'd like to make. I can't even draw well enough to sketch them properly, so making this face is going to be kind of like reading brail or something. Having images stuck in your head that you can't pull into physical reality quite yet is a bit like being constipated.

I think I'm about to go all fire hose. Sometimes I feel just like this before a big flurry of new work. I hope so because I'm getting kind of twitchy.

I'm actually writing all this Sunday, so Monday morning I can presumably "fire right up" and get to work. (Yes- I managed to fart around all weekend too.) Here's what went on:

Dan and I went shopping. Trader Joe's (Damn you Lacy's cookies. Damn you!), REI, Kohl's, Target, DSW. Believe it or not-- I got 3 belts for $15-- & that's it. Dan went a bit nuts. Got a cool jacket for $9, and kayaking shoes which he did need.

My new mountain bike shorts came in the mail feeding into my whole fantasizing about summer thing. (I seriously thought they'd be "goal" shorts-- like, "Now I REALLY need to lose 10lbs, but they fit now! Woohoo!) I modeled them for Dan with an array of possible belts from my awesome on sale belt finds. This led to a sundress fashion show, complete with fancy twirls & hammy posing. There was also a tiny amount of leaping.

Sat night we had a double feature (hubs was supposed to play poker, but decided to stay home and hang out with me *win*) (Come on-- how could he NOT want to? After the big fashion show etc)-- We saw "Carriers" (okay, not great) and "Moon" (really cool if you like classic, Ray Bradbury-esque, sci-fi.)

Dropped one of the suby's off for windshield replacement/body work. (just a long overdue fix). Thrills! (not)

Spent hours trying to figure out blog fixes, only to get all frustrated and re-dye blue hair streak instead.

Hubs split a bunch more wood like the modern day lumberjack he is. In a couple days when it dries out we'll stack it all, like ma and pa freaking Ingalls, because this is how we heat our house. (another reason to look forward to spring.)

Wow- this post should have been called "random, not very interesting details from Sue's life." I guess I better get up to some hijinx to entertain you guys pretty soon, or at least make some art to put up pics of!

Where is my mind?

Hey people. Today's Fav Music Fri pick is "Where is my mind?" by The Pixies-- because that's the tune I set my last race video to. It actually fits me this week too. Remember on "Twilight Zone- The Movie" when that monkey thing is sitting on the wing of the plane pulling wires out? That's been my brain. Anyway-- enjoy. The answers from the last post follow the vid.

If you click the button with the 4 arrows it expands to full screen, Press "esc" to go back to small & see blog again.



Are any of these true? Are any lies?

1) Despite my chronic skipping, I got very good grades in school, often making the honor role.

Not exactly true. I did skip a lot, did not get good grades-- although I got good grades considering. I also tested really well on college entrance exams, in everything except math.

2) When I was young and my address was (briefly) a mustard yellow pinto wagon, I hung out with a real live timber wolf for nearly a week.

This, believe it or not, is true. Someone had brought the wolf to the vet I worked for to be euthanized because her son, the owner, had killed himself. I just couldn't let it happen and the vet gave her to me. Later the lady changed her mind and wanted her back. I wish there had been a wolf sanctuary back then.

3) I once had a stalker who looked exactly like the actor Bruce Dern. In fact, I'd be very interested to know Mr. Dern's whereabouts from July 1983 to February 1984.

True.

4) I once appeared on a high school quiz show. My area of expertise was astronomy.

True. In Canada in 7th grade, where you began going to high school in 7th grade at the time. There was no Jr. High.

5) I went to the Sturgis motorcycle rally with hubs once completely by accident.

True. And once was def enough.

6) Friends know me as an awesome dancer. I no longer go to bars, but at weddings I love when I get get someone else to dance with me and the floor clears so we can really show off. Hubs hates to dance but I love it.

Apparently a lot of you know me well enough to know this is NOT true, although I have to say at the last couple of weddings I've gotten out there and have not made a complete spectacle of myself.

7) I have nearly drowned 3 times. Twice in the ocean, once in the Apple River in WI. In WI I was saved by a strange boy's crotch.

True.

8) One time, (not one of the near drowning experiences), I swam so far out in the ocean the floor dropped away and out of sight. When I looked behind me towards the beach I set-out from, the island looked small and very far away. On the way back I swam over two sharks fighting over something.

True. There was also a big storm coming in from the ocean. Me and Dan had to swim for all we were worth to get back to shore before it hit. Kind of thought we'd had it that time.

9) I'm an excellent cook, when pressed into service, even though I have ruined a number of pots and pans and even disabled a major appliance in my efforts.

True.

10) I drove all the way to Texas once (from MN), commando, on a dare.

Not true. It was only from Galveston to Mustang Island TX, and wasn't a dare. Me and sis had gone swimming in our clothes and had nothing really dry to wear. Commando was more comfortable than wet and sandy. This was the trip we learned to stop elevators between floors to use as changing rooms (before vid surveillance) and if you're going to stay in cheap motels-- bring Lysol and "shower shoes."

11) I once found a dead body. I was eleven years old. Me and a friend used to hang out in this big area behind our townhouses that was all fields and woods. One day we saw a guy sitting in the grass leaning against a tree. After spying on him for a while, we decided he was sleeping and made a game of seeing how close we could get to him. He wasn't sleeping. He'd shot himself in the head.

This is not true, but is exactly the kind of thing we used to pretend/hope for when I was that age. Lurking around in the woods and fields creeping myself-out was my favorite pastime.

12) A family of complete strangers once took refuge in my living room from a knife wielding mugger in the middle of the night. I awoke to them moving my furniture around looking for places to hide.

This, is true. They were being stuck-up for a frozen turkey. The mugger was in the alley across the street having it out with the husband. I never locked my doors, even though I lived in the total hood. I had nothing to steal and there was a big window in my front door that wouldn't keep anyone out anyway. I figured I was saving myself a possible broken window. This was the only time anyone ever "broke in."

13) I have a secret thing for sundresses. If I could get away with it, I'd wear one everyday, for a few hours at least. I also have a collection of pretty fancy high heels I never wear out in public. I just can't resist shoes. They're like crack! It doesn't matter if I can walk in them or not. I must have them!

Trick question-- true on the sundresses, false on the shoes, which leaves me with a bunch of sundresses I can only wear with my old standby flip-flops or one or two pairs of sandals. I like to wear dresses, but then wish someone would play tag or get in a big watergun fight with me or something. Remember when you were a little kid and you'd wear a sundress and just play like it was normal clothes? That's what I'd like.

14) I once had a job that required me to wear a white lab coat.

True. It had the name Barb embroidered on it, but true. It was when I was a vet peon.

15) Have rescued toads, frogs, salamanders and spiders with my bare hands, but am freak-a-zilla-ishly terrified of snakes. Once, when co workers decided it would be funny to toss a rubber snake at me, I reacted by throwing my big gulp all over them. It did turn out to be funny, but not in the way they expected.

True.

16) Once when a duck flew down our chimney I captured it with my bare hands and set it free. Not before toppling a potted plant and a ceramic horse my great grandma gave me, and the duck shitting all over the house unfortunately.

False. Me and Dan were inexplicably afraid of the duck and called our outdoorsman next door neighbor to come capture it for us, and nothing broke. There was some duck poo though.

17) In high school I went into the bathroom one day and cut a whole bunch of my hair off.

True. It came out a lot better than you'd think. Everyone thought it was super cute and wanted to know where I got it done. It felt very empowering.

18) I was once in an elevator with Jerry Seinfeld. I wanted to say something funny SO BADLY. When he pushed the lobby button I burst-out, "Don't bring me down, no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no, nooooo. Oh-wee hoo," in this kind of dorky robot-y voice. He just shifted uncomfortably and avoided eye contact while I died a silent death.

This is just totally made up. In real life I'd probably just give him a smile and congratulate myself on not being an intrusive pest. But I'd still wish I could think of something funny to say.

Thanks for guessing everyone. I guess Pam got the best score (4 out of 5), but a lot of you were pretty accurate with the one or two you did guess. Lynn- you did pretty good too. :)

Check back Mon to see if I manage to pull off a blog makeover I'm planning, if I can figure out the html stuff.

Weird Wed- Where truth is stranger than fiction, or is it?

Hey people. I got a "Big Fat Liar Award" from my soon to be published pal (really-- got a book deal!) Jen Blom. I'm supposed to post 7 truths and one lie and have you guys guess the lie. In my typical, "not following the rules way" I'm posting a random number of lies and truths and it's up to you to pick which are which.

I'm also supposed to link other writers-- for that part-- check my sidebar under "writer peeps."

Are any of these true? Are any lies?

1) Despite my chronic skipping, I got very good grades in school, often making the honor role.

2) When I was young and my address was (briefly) a mustard yellow pinto wagon, I hung out with a real live timber wolf for nearly a week.

3) I once had a stalker who looked exactly like the actor Bruce Dern. In fact, I'd be very interested to know Mr. Dern's whereabouts from July 1983 to February 1984.

4) I once appeared on a high school quiz show. My area of expertise was astronomy.

5) I went to the Sturgis motorcycle rally with hubs once completely by accident.

6) Friends know me as an awesome dancer. I no longer go to bars, but at weddings I love when I get get someone else to dance with me and the floor clears so we can really show off. Hubs hates to dance but I love it.

7) I have nearly drowned 3 times. Twice in the ocean, once in the Apple River in WI. In WI I was saved by a strange boy's crotch.

8) One time, (not one of the near drowning experiences), I swam so far out in the ocean the floor dropped away and out of sight. When I looked behind me towards the beach I set-out from, the island looked small and very far away. On the way back I swam over two sharks fighting over something.

9) I'm an excellent cook, when pressed into service, even though I have ruined a number of pots and pans and even disabled a major appliance in my efforts.

10) I drove all the way to Texas once (from MN), commando, on a dare.

11) I once found a dead body. I was eleven years old. Me and a friend used to hang out in this big area behind our townhouses that was all fields and woods. One day we saw a guy sitting in the grass leaning against a tree. After spying on him for a while, we decided he was sleeping and made a game of seeing how close we could get to him. He wasn't sleeping. He'd shot himself in the head.

12) A family of complete strangers once took refuge in my living room from a knife wielding mugger in the middle of the night. I awoke to them moving my furniture around looking for places to hide.

13) I have a secret thing for sundresses. If I could get away with it, I'd wear one everyday, for a few hours at least. I also have a collection of pretty fancy high heels I never wear out in public. I just can't resist shoes. They're like crack! It doesn't matter if I can walk in them or not. I must have them!

14) I once had a job that required me to wear a white lab coat.

15) Have rescued toads, frogs, salamanders and spiders with my bare hands, but am freak-a-zilla-ishly terrified of snakes. Once, when co workers decided it would be funny to toss a rubber snake at me, I reacted by throwing my big gulp all over them. It did turn out to be funny, but not in the way they expected.

16) Once when a duck flew down our chimney I captured it with my bare hands and set it free. Not before toppling a potted plant and a ceramic horse my great grandma gave me, and the duck shitting all over the house unfortunately.

17) In high school I went into the bathroom one day and cut a whole bunch of my hair off.

18) I was once in an elevator with Jerry Seinfeld. I wanted to say something funny SO BADLY. When he pushed the lobby button I burst-out, "Don't bring me down, no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no, nooooo. Oh-wee hoo," in this kind of dorky robot-y voice. He just shifted uncomfortably and avoided eye contact while I died a silent death.