"Every Morning I Get A New Chance..."

Check out another Spoon number in the player, "The Two side Of Monsieur Valentine." Not very heavy, typically Spoon-y-- catchy, somewhat literary, innovative production. I tend to like my rock pretty pared down, just the basics-- guitars, drums, and punch, but spoon is one of the bands that opened my mind a bit about production value and what that can contribute to the music creatively.

Above is a pic of the last commission. I wound up cutting the bird design in so the piece could just rust naturally. Sometimes (usually) it's best not to fight it. The client loved it so mission accomplished. Not super into the art mode right now but I need to get there. Super backed-up. Starting Mon I'll have to force my own hand. Once I get out there and begin using the tools it tends to fall into place. I've just been so in love with writing lately it's hard to stop.

I love the first line of today's song (see post title). I'm practically done revising the novel. So much has changed through this process, even the way I see the story, in terms of what it is. Themes have emerged, which is one of the coolest things about writing-- when things reveal themselves organically. It really reminds me of working abstractly with art-- its the same feeling of something just flowing through you. Anyway, I'm really really excited about the changes I've made. It feels very connected now, and dare I say, more literary. I'm even considering a title change.

I'd been calling it "Down River" for nearly a year when some other guy's book came out with that title, then went with "Dirt Nap" thinking that was kind of shocking and edgy, but the novel has changed so much that title seems almost dismissive to me now. Yesterday I came up with "The Crimson Cord." I guess nine times out of ten the title gets changed by the publisher anyway, but I want to at least start out with a good one. Anyone have an opinion?

That's Not My Name

This is an unadulterated pop number by the Ting Tings that i can't get out of my head. Insidiously catchy.

I like the prominence of the drumming too. I'm nursing a mid-life crisis fantasy of taking drum lessons at some point. doesn't it look fun? It would be such an awesome release I think.

Today will be spent welding and jamming out. I have to finish the commission from the "sweet welds" post (I know, I've been procrastinating / editing Dirt Nap) and will put up a pic probably tomorrow.

This isn't in the player. It's so poppy, I just couldn't, but enjoy the video.

Fairly Artful (and in some cases aweful)

More State fair weirdage for you.
Remember you can click on any pic for a better, bigger, weirder view.

Some of you are familiar with the tradition of carving the
heads of reigning county fair "queens" in butter.
I once heard one interviewed on the radio who said she was going
to have her whole family over for a big corn feed so everyone could
"rub their ears on her head".

Ok, i have to say, on Brenda's, i think the artist kind of just phoned it in...
Not her best work.

This was Mike Norman's entry.
Pretty nicely done, and funny too!
He did the ancient bunny civilization proud.

I just thought this was an explosion of coolage.

What a twisted disturbia masterpiece!
Straight from the baby factory to you--
Oh relax people, you know we're all totally original, unique and irreplaceable right??
Right?

"Ever since joining Jenny Craig -- I feel terrific!"

Oh this person could so contribute to the blog.
This is wrong on so many levels it gets extra disturbia bonus points.
Let's just start with the fact the sock monkey's are Siamese twins and go from there....
Also, they've somehow defied the blue eye / brown eye genetic template.
Then of course the one monkey is turning the crank on the meat grinder,
and it's not entirely clear the other one is on board with that,
but has a huge grin on its face....

This guy entitled his piece, "Girl".
Oh Steve Hanson from Minneapolis,
what dating hell must you have endured you poor, poor man?

I apologise for this shot being so blurry, but I had to include it in the line-up.
First of all, an overpass? Well, Ok.
But then the two animals (?) are huddling around a bottle of lemon Joy dishsoap,
and this is called-- ready? - "Ultra Concentrated Joy"
Too good.

These kids are super creepy.
I don't know what I find more sinister,
their matching outfits or their rolled-up eyes.

Ok, I have an admission to make. I have an almost atavistic repulsion of detached hair.
Once it's no longer rooted to someone's noggin, keep it the hell away from me!
This person created an entire, really quite obsessive tribute to disgusting,
suspiciously kinky and pube-like in some cases, hair.

Note the level of detail. Some of the background work is actually pretty cool, but
ewe, (shudder), look at those hairs people.
The balls? Come on, those had to be hand rolled.
The little "bales"? -- lovingly hand tied...
Heebies with a side of jeebies.

Fair Play

Took the whole day off today and went to the MN State fair.
For those of you who may not remember what that's like, it's exactly like this--

That's right, tons of doughy Minnesotans, many, as usual, wearing shorts who should not be, many inexplicably pushing strollers (hello?), and almost all stuffing their faces indiscriminately. But it was, unlike other years, not blistering hot today, actually quite pleasant, and I was there with my bud Linda, so knew it would be a good time.

To be fair, this was taken after eating the cheese curds.
(Deep fried cheese, what could be wrong with that?)

That's right Linda, pork does indeed rule.
Let's get us some big fat bacon.
(actually I'm a vegetarian mostly, but come on, this sign was too good)

We did engage in some extreme mini doughnut consumption...

"Extreme?" you ask-- that's right people. These things were a thousand freaking degrees!

Yes-- one thousand! I'm talking lips of asbestos people!

Sizzle Sizzle Sizzle

We also came upon this bizarre monument to forced feeding. Hmm...

And this terrifying ride where a large breasted woman holds your little car
in one of her mighty fists and flings you madly all over hell!

For you single gals... who could resist? He looks handy...

And don't think i forgot about you guys... (I mean Madame Twisto, not the girls on the bench)
Below is one of the weirdest uses of promotional dollars ever witnessed.

Xcel Energy decided this disturbing "possible methods of electrocution" display
was the best way to utilize their booth at the grandstand.
Note creative placement of singed birds and lead wire running to
the ill fated little man doll....
Sign me up!

This is an absolute must click for bigger weirdage.
First of all, the bald dude looks totally like some ex-con, am I right?
then note the "here now- gorilla girl" sign...

That's right, click again people-- the barker was creepily slick-- trying to coax the crowd into ogling the freaks. The chick is a sword swallower, and "little person" is a
flame eater who was supposedly in "The Wizard of Oz".
And check out the guy in the back in the hat and shades. He totally creeped me out.

Then I had this fantastic idea--
"The Carny Pageant" !!
But alas, this was the only one to be found still
looking appropriately grimy and sinister.

The rest had been given these clean, matching uniforms. (AKA disguises)
I'm pretty sure behind the somewhat presentable appearance still lurks
a total creepy loser though, don't you?
This guy looks like he's looking at a pork chop doesn't he?
(click)

Since the whole carny quest was a failure, I came up with another option--
"Scariest Dude At The Fair"
but by then we were getting hot, had eaten all our digestive tracts could support,
and were pretty much "faired-out"
--so I proclaimed this guy this year's only contestant and winner by default.

Just to not end on a bad vibe note-- get a load of these guys...
"WTF? Hey you guys-- this isn't a spa -- butter massage my feathered ass!
Look at that booth over there!"

Much, much more fair weirdage to come. This really only scratches the surface.
As always, feel free to caption any of these, or comment it up any way you see fit.

Just So Wrong...

Good news slaghammer fans -- I'm officially accepting submissions for future "Disturbia" posts. So far there are already a couple of existing categories -- "weird ass dolls", and "disembodied heads", but as other pics roll in new categories will likely present themselves.

Be patient, your submission may not post right away, or ever, depending... but I will try to eventually get them all up in some disturbing fashion. So keep those gimlet eyes peeled for aberrant and/or hilarious weirdness. You can send through my email found under the "A Closer Look" profile page. Click away minions!

Don't You Evah

Check out Spoon in the player covering The Natural History's "Don't you Ever." I love this version, especially the beginning where you can hear Britt getting all snarky about the equipment. Been there buddy. All you rock scardy-cats will even like this so check it out. Very infectious.


This provided one of the few laughs during what was supposed to be my horrid, soul crushing day of cleaning. It was in the lot where I went to pick up my lunch. I literally drove back to my house and got my camera just to share this with you. I really wanted to hop out and write something rebellious right under this, but was too chicken and couldn't think of anything funny enough to risk capture. Any ideas???

Ok, true confession time-- my soul is actually pretty intact. I didn't give it the full-on cleaning try this week. I've had my butt pretty much glued to my chair (when it hasn't been on the seat of my bike) revising Dirt Nap, but I did do a little, to appease the hubster.

The other night he came home and plopped his fine self on the sofa. I greeted him and continued clacking furiously away at the keyboard. He was sitting there in one of his hipster -doofus get-ups (super pointy-collared retro shirts in extinct colorways and Dickie's work pants) eating cold pizza when he noticed I'd left a banana peel on the end table from lunch. Whoops.

He goes, "Ewe-- there's fruit flies over here now," and begins waving his hand about melodramatically.
I said, "Fruit flies? They're kind of tapping a dry well aren't they? I already ate the fruit part."
Then he says, "You're disgusting!" pointing a limp slice of pizza at me for emphasis.
Excuse moi?
"That's it," I said, "You're going in the blog!" and pretended to type even more furiously than normal with a maniacal grin on my face.
Then we laughed and laughed and laughed.
Then he said, "Really? You're just joking right?"
Nope.

I was so stoked to clean the whole house so when he came home there could be nothing but a little trail of banana parts leading out the door, luring the fruit flies back outside, to the great outdoors, but alas. When he came home that night the house looked much the same.

Next week I promise to do better.

Head Cases

Favorite lyric line of the week; "In bar-light, she looked alright, in daylight she looked desperate." Talk about cutting to the bone. Cudos to The Hold Steady. Check out "Sequestered In Memphis" in the player for some not very hard, but well written rock. The singer looks incongruously like Mr. Kotter (Gabe Kaplan) kind of, but even less hot, and more nerdy, which is weird, but they're a good band.

So, Since tomorrow's Friday I thought it could be time for another episode of "Disturbia". (Consider yourself warned.)

This time it's all about the disembodied heads people. I'm hoping for a little more participation in the captioning department, so comment it up. Once again, refer to the numbers so we can all play along. (And be sure to click on pics for "disturb-o-vision" enhancement)

1

"Zey ver brudda and seestah, but zey ver zo much more..."
(must be said in creepy german accent)
(bonus point for then manipulating the figurines so they begin to make-out)
2

"For the love of God, someone take this stupid doily off my head-- a little dignity--please!"

3

"She had hoped for so much more..."

4

"It was all just so terribly.... disappointing."