Hey people. Yesterday I had a meeting with a client for a new commission, nice people, cool project-- but because of rush hour traffic & construction, it took over three hours of driving to get me to and from my roughly eight minute meeting. During that time my brain was flickering through all its channels like some jittery A.D.D kid off their meds.
That's when this song came on the radio. I was stunned to find a song that's actually as random and disjointed as my brain lately, but here it is.
There's a lot of stuff changing right now. The writing that used to be so preoccupying I could barely focus on real life has been abruptly stripped away. It feels like a break-up. When I start writing again, I'm not sure what the story will be about, but everything will have changed. I can feel that much.
Words are still very important to me. I feel kind of lost right now, like after you've been sick, kind of weak or something, and it's feels very off to not have a bunch of characters and their stories chattering to me-- scenes constantly unfolding. Then I'll hear a snippet of a lyric like, "You can judge the whole world by the sparkle that you think it lacks. Yes, you can stare into the abyss but it's staring right back." and it's like a dog whistle. I snap to attention, and my heart tugs.
I don't feel like myself at all right now, well, not the me I've been the last couple years. I can only assume I'm being broken down a bit to shake things up. Maybe Sue2.0 is in the works or something. When I got back from vacation-- I couldn't even believe this myself-- for some stupid reason I was actually afraid to go ride Penny. (I know.) It took me a few days to get around to it. I told myself it was intuition and to just go with it, but I felt really super weird, and ashamed of myself too.
When I did finally ride, everything was fine, I hadn't lost too much ground aside from feeling really out of shape, and I had the same old big smile on my face when I was done, infused with energy. But I felt so vulnerable just before going, not my usual eager boldness.
These feelings, although hard to describe or explain, make me think there is room being made in my psyche for something. Maybe my creativity is being reshuffled. I don't know. I'm trying to hold on to the stuff I feel I do know, but be open to new changes.
Here's some stuff on my list:
I want to be a force for good- to spread the awesome. I like to help people find or express their own awesomeness.
I enjoy finding humor in life (lucky for me).
I sometimes wish I had a bigger tribe, and wonder if being kind of an oddball keeps people away. I can't really change that, and don't want to even try to become some homogenized version of myself though.
I've made creativity my life's work. That takes a lot of leaps of faith, but it's a great gift and makes things interesting.
I might change this blog. When I started it, it was to create an internet presence for my edgy young adult novel writing endeavors. Now-- who knows? It's become fun. I've met some cool people through it, but I don't know that it really has any mission beyond connecting with people and sharing my life, such as it is. I'm considering "Suelandia". Any thoughts on any of this? Any of you ever feel like this? -- or is it just more of my odd-ballishness?
Friday, May 7, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Dorkville
Hey people. In case any of you didn't know what I meant when I said me and Katie go right back into dork mode when we get together... Behold!
In the interest of full disclosure, all this footage was actually from my last trip, in dec. This is the kind of thing we get up to when we know we only have about an hour or two of fun time before being inundated with kidstuff.
This trip was more laid back, well, except for sex-robot dancing and pretending to be Charlie's Angels, annoying our husbands with dramatic, loud bad-singing along to the radio, and imitating anyone nearby, including each other.
We did wind-up going to Forever 21 one day. I'm always surprised no alarm goes off when we walk into that place. We were so busy having fun I didn't even think to capture any of it on film. We had a blast pretend trying on the clothes just like in the video though, and holding impromptu dance parties while gelled, skinny-jeans-wearing male sales associates gave us murderous glares of disapproval.
One thing about being 40 & over that is awesome-- such intimidating tactics have absolutely no effect on you. At all. If anything it just eggs us on. At one point I announced, to any of them within earshot, "Look, we're over 40. Don't fuck with us." Then I pretend put-on a super poufy, flouncy micro-mini that looked like it was made out of cotton candy that had been trimmed into some kind of poodle from outer space get-up.
Rough, gravelly, rednecky manvoice-- "No dawtah uv mahn is leavin' the house dressed like a common hohr!"
(Most of the dresses in this place leave you wondering if they really are supposed to be a dress or some kind of long shirt. They barely cover your butt!)
Whiny, Texas, drawly, girlvoice-- "Bhutt Daiddy!" ~stomp~
~bows at the end of this "Forever 21 theater" performance~
"What? No-- I don't need a dressing room. Go tag something Justin Beiber."
The only thing that would have made it more awesome would have been if school was out so we could have single-handedly de-cooled a bunch of stuff for the local teens. We can't wait until Megan is about 13 and we can follow her and her little tweeny pals around and embarrass the crap out of them. ~rubs hands together~
In the interest of full disclosure, all this footage was actually from my last trip, in dec. This is the kind of thing we get up to when we know we only have about an hour or two of fun time before being inundated with kidstuff.
This trip was more laid back, well, except for sex-robot dancing and pretending to be Charlie's Angels, annoying our husbands with dramatic, loud bad-singing along to the radio, and imitating anyone nearby, including each other.
We did wind-up going to Forever 21 one day. I'm always surprised no alarm goes off when we walk into that place. We were so busy having fun I didn't even think to capture any of it on film. We had a blast pretend trying on the clothes just like in the video though, and holding impromptu dance parties while gelled, skinny-jeans-wearing male sales associates gave us murderous glares of disapproval.
One thing about being 40 & over that is awesome-- such intimidating tactics have absolutely no effect on you. At all. If anything it just eggs us on. At one point I announced, to any of them within earshot, "Look, we're over 40. Don't fuck with us." Then I pretend put-on a super poufy, flouncy micro-mini that looked like it was made out of cotton candy that had been trimmed into some kind of poodle from outer space get-up.
Rough, gravelly, rednecky manvoice-- "No dawtah uv mahn is leavin' the house dressed like a common hohr!"
(Most of the dresses in this place leave you wondering if they really are supposed to be a dress or some kind of long shirt. They barely cover your butt!)
Whiny, Texas, drawly, girlvoice-- "Bhutt Daiddy!" ~stomp~
~bows at the end of this "Forever 21 theater" performance~
"What? No-- I don't need a dressing room. Go tag something Justin Beiber."
The only thing that would have made it more awesome would have been if school was out so we could have single-handedly de-cooled a bunch of stuff for the local teens. We can't wait until Megan is about 13 and we can follow her and her little tweeny pals around and embarrass the crap out of them. ~rubs hands together~
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Taking Texas
Hey people. You know I have only one reason to set foot in the lone star state, and here she is, mah seestah-- Katie. (Isn't she cute??) ~hugs~ This is where I've been for the last couple of weeks, visiting her and her brood.
I've bagged on Texas plenty in the past, and God knows there's tons of material-- the flatness, the hotness, the boringness, the redneckiness. (It was in the nineties, both temp AND dewpoint when I was there, with 20-30 mph winds. Yes, my hair was awesome the entire time. Not.) But I have to admit this time, there was also some pretty...
Wild flowers planted along the highways by Ladybird Johnson were in full bloom on our drive up to the hill country (what they call the San Antonio / Austin region-- the only coolness I've seen so far in the entire state.) (Figuratively and literally. It's about 10 degrees cooler up there than where she lives.)
We've been planning a girl get-away for, not kidding people-- eight years! Finally, the kids are old enough to leave for a weekend, the stars aligned, we both had a little cash, and our plan, albeit scaled down from our dreams of a week at a spa, came together.
This was the view from our eff-you-money hotel room on the riverwalk in San Antonio. I usually opt for budget lodging, but this trip was different. Let the hedonism begin!
This place was fancy. Click on the pic so you can read this. It's the pet room service menu. "All pet meals are served with Fiji water on appropriate petware."
Yeah. Good thing. Serving the Contessa Salmon on regular old peopleware would be tacky central.
The Riverwalk is super cool. It's a river that runs right through downtown San Antonio, and there are sidewalks on both sides, lined with hotels, shops, and restaurants, and little bridges to cross back and forth. There are also tons of huge trees and garden areas. We strolled for hours and had an awesome four-star dinner out.
After our all girl weekend, it was time for some serious family time. The following week was a blur of errands, piano lessons, dance classes, t-ball games, & soccer, but later in the week Dan flew down to join me, and we all (me, Dan, & Kate's family) drove back up to their lake home in the hill country for the weekend.
This was at this really cool restaurant we went to that was like eating in a tree house.
Me and the boy have had our issues in the past, but now he seems to get that my intentions are good. He still doesn't like to be told what to do, but doesn't resent it as much, and seems to really like me, and know I like him too. The kid has music in his soul. He wanted me to take pics of him busting out some "moves". Ta-Daaah.
Cute little fart isn't he?
He's almost six, and scary smart. This takes almost everyone off guard because half the time he's in his own world, or acting like a little monkey boy. He'll be spazzing out about some dumb thing, like wanting to sit in the seat his sister is already occupying one minute, and you're going, "Oh boy, this kid acts more like a 3 year old than nearly six," but five minutes later he's whipping through his homework like it's nothing. Ho-hum. Too easy. Boring stuff.
I can't wait to see how he turns out. He's funny and definitely his own little dude. I would not be a bit surprised if he's some kind of musical prodigy. I want to buy him drums.
Him and Megan are usually at each other's throats, but have moments of fun goofing around, or joining forces against the evil overlords (their parents.) Here Megan is dipping him a-la dancing with the stars. He always gives it all he's got, arm flourish and all.
Meg and I have always had a big connection, and still do. Our relationship is changing as she gets older. We had our first big altercation this trip, but got through it. She knows, for a fact, I'll always, always be in her corner.
She's turning out to be a little adventurer. Feels very familiar. Loves the water.
This is a friend of hers-- she wanted to make sure that part was clear, a friend-- (she like likes another boy. What does that mean when you're eight? I think that you enjoy imagining dramas playing out involving you, the boy, and other classmates whispering about the status of your liking of each other.) Anyway, they were seeing who could do the best armpit farts right before I shot this. ~sigh~ Ahh the good old days. Mini me.
Look out world.
Me and sis, of course have our own thing. We manage to maintain a pretty close relationship even though we're miles apart and our lives could not be more different. When we get together we go right back into dork mode. We watched Charlie's Angels- Full Throttle on our girl weekend, but I really can't use that as much of an excuse for these pics. We always seem to adopt ass-kicking poses when there's a camera around.
Quake in fear people. It's the finger twist of doom! Don't mess with Kate or she will beat you senseless with those Grover arms of hers.
Sorry about the acres of forty and over skin showing in these next two. Avert your eyes, get therapy, or whatever you have to do to get through this trauma. For the poolside antics we somehow began dancing like robots when Dan got the camera out. We were excited about going to see "Date Night" later-- "Sex robots!" (go see it to get the joke.)
We amuse ourselves to no end. Someone's got to.
Having Dan along was fun for Katie (she calls him the third sister. He's not very into that nickname not surprisingly) and medicinal for me. Katie said I seemed way less stressed this trip. He tempers me. I get super pissed at her control-freaky, patriarchal hubs, but I can't say stuff like, "OMG pull the stick out!" or "For shit's sake-- they're only PLACEMATS dude, shut up and let your wife pick them out!" without making life much harder for her. If I lived down there we'd have to have a war and he'd now be calling me "your highness" or something and quivering with subservience every time I came around, but alas.
Katie, meanwhile, finds little ways to preserve her Katieness, and expose her kids to ideas like recycling (which is considered extremist down there-- they don't have pick up or anything, and no one does it) and kindness to animals, and volunteering, and being creative and tolerant. She is a very cool woman. I could not thrive in her life, but she manages to.
I was ready to come home by the end, as usual. I get very wiped-out by the mini-van lifestyle, even though I love seeing those guys. This is what greeted me the morning after we got back.
and this
and this.
I've bagged on Texas plenty in the past, and God knows there's tons of material-- the flatness, the hotness, the boringness, the redneckiness. (It was in the nineties, both temp AND dewpoint when I was there, with 20-30 mph winds. Yes, my hair was awesome the entire time. Not.) But I have to admit this time, there was also some pretty...
Wild flowers planted along the highways by Ladybird Johnson were in full bloom on our drive up to the hill country (what they call the San Antonio / Austin region-- the only coolness I've seen so far in the entire state.) (Figuratively and literally. It's about 10 degrees cooler up there than where she lives.)
We've been planning a girl get-away for, not kidding people-- eight years! Finally, the kids are old enough to leave for a weekend, the stars aligned, we both had a little cash, and our plan, albeit scaled down from our dreams of a week at a spa, came together. This was the view from our eff-you-money hotel room on the riverwalk in San Antonio. I usually opt for budget lodging, but this trip was different. Let the hedonism begin!
This place was fancy. Click on the pic so you can read this. It's the pet room service menu. "All pet meals are served with Fiji water on appropriate petware." 
Yeah. Good thing. Serving the Contessa Salmon on regular old peopleware would be tacky central.
The Riverwalk is super cool. It's a river that runs right through downtown San Antonio, and there are sidewalks on both sides, lined with hotels, shops, and restaurants, and little bridges to cross back and forth. There are also tons of huge trees and garden areas. We strolled for hours and had an awesome four-star dinner out.
After our all girl weekend, it was time for some serious family time. The following week was a blur of errands, piano lessons, dance classes, t-ball games, & soccer, but later in the week Dan flew down to join me, and we all (me, Dan, & Kate's family) drove back up to their lake home in the hill country for the weekend. This was at this really cool restaurant we went to that was like eating in a tree house.
Me and the boy have had our issues in the past, but now he seems to get that my intentions are good. He still doesn't like to be told what to do, but doesn't resent it as much, and seems to really like me, and know I like him too. The kid has music in his soul. He wanted me to take pics of him busting out some "moves". Ta-Daaah.
Cute little fart isn't he?
He's almost six, and scary smart. This takes almost everyone off guard because half the time he's in his own world, or acting like a little monkey boy. He'll be spazzing out about some dumb thing, like wanting to sit in the seat his sister is already occupying one minute, and you're going, "Oh boy, this kid acts more like a 3 year old than nearly six," but five minutes later he's whipping through his homework like it's nothing. Ho-hum. Too easy. Boring stuff.I can't wait to see how he turns out. He's funny and definitely his own little dude. I would not be a bit surprised if he's some kind of musical prodigy. I want to buy him drums.
Him and Megan are usually at each other's throats, but have moments of fun goofing around, or joining forces against the evil overlords (their parents.) Here Megan is dipping him a-la dancing with the stars. He always gives it all he's got, arm flourish and all.
Meg and I have always had a big connection, and still do. Our relationship is changing as she gets older. We had our first big altercation this trip, but got through it. She knows, for a fact, I'll always, always be in her corner.
She's turning out to be a little adventurer. Feels very familiar. Loves the water.
This is a friend of hers-- she wanted to make sure that part was clear, a friend-- (she like likes another boy. What does that mean when you're eight? I think that you enjoy imagining dramas playing out involving you, the boy, and other classmates whispering about the status of your liking of each other.) Anyway, they were seeing who could do the best armpit farts right before I shot this. ~sigh~ Ahh the good old days. Mini me. 
Look out world. 
Me and sis, of course have our own thing. We manage to maintain a pretty close relationship even though we're miles apart and our lives could not be more different. When we get together we go right back into dork mode. We watched Charlie's Angels- Full Throttle on our girl weekend, but I really can't use that as much of an excuse for these pics. We always seem to adopt ass-kicking poses when there's a camera around.
Quake in fear people. It's the finger twist of doom! Don't mess with Kate or she will beat you senseless with those Grover arms of hers.
Sorry about the acres of forty and over skin showing in these next two. Avert your eyes, get therapy, or whatever you have to do to get through this trauma. For the poolside antics we somehow began dancing like robots when Dan got the camera out. We were excited about going to see "Date Night" later-- "Sex robots!" (go see it to get the joke.)
We amuse ourselves to no end. Someone's got to.
Having Dan along was fun for Katie (she calls him the third sister. He's not very into that nickname not surprisingly) and medicinal for me. Katie said I seemed way less stressed this trip. He tempers me. I get super pissed at her control-freaky, patriarchal hubs, but I can't say stuff like, "OMG pull the stick out!" or "For shit's sake-- they're only PLACEMATS dude, shut up and let your wife pick them out!" without making life much harder for her. If I lived down there we'd have to have a war and he'd now be calling me "your highness" or something and quivering with subservience every time I came around, but alas. It helps to have Dan around to vent to, and remind me how good I have it. Here I'm helpfully instructing him on how to clean the pool so no icky things threaten to float near me on my giant pool toy. He's way up on my care and feeding.
Katie, meanwhile, finds little ways to preserve her Katieness, and expose her kids to ideas like recycling (which is considered extremist down there-- they don't have pick up or anything, and no one does it) and kindness to animals, and volunteering, and being creative and tolerant. She is a very cool woman. I could not thrive in her life, but she manages to.
I was ready to come home by the end, as usual. I get very wiped-out by the mini-van lifestyle, even though I love seeing those guys. This is what greeted me the morning after we got back.
and this
and this.
It's good to be home.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Some kind of nature
Hey people. Me on vacation for 2 weeks = radio silence. That's probably good. Lots rolling around in my head right now and it's all a jumble of tangled creativity. Better to just be in the moment for a while and let things sort themselves out.
This song, weirdly, sort of expresses how i feel right now-- and, it's just cool, so-- enjoy, and see ya in a couple weeks. :)
This song, weirdly, sort of expresses how i feel right now-- and, it's just cool, so-- enjoy, and see ya in a couple weeks. :)
Friday, April 9, 2010
If you are looking for Sue Seeger's metal artwork, click the link on the right. :)
Hey people. SUPER BUSY today-- it's the load-out. I have to lay-out my booth, finish the last two pieces of art, pack and load all the art and fixtures, and set everything up at the show. I feel a little bad for you guys who double down and check out my art blog every week too (thanks!), because today's Fav Music Fri pick is that same video I posted there yesterday. Heh Heh.
Enjoy this lively South African tune set to a vid of my working in my shop. It's from the movie "Sarafina."
OH- and, somehow the video is widescreen, and apparently blogger hasn't figured out how to accommodate that yet, so if you want to see the whole frame (recommended), click the vid screen while it's playing and go watch it on youtube. (Sorry. ) Back to work!
Hey people. SUPER BUSY today-- it's the load-out. I have to lay-out my booth, finish the last two pieces of art, pack and load all the art and fixtures, and set everything up at the show. I feel a little bad for you guys who double down and check out my art blog every week too (thanks!), because today's Fav Music Fri pick is that same video I posted there yesterday. Heh Heh.
Enjoy this lively South African tune set to a vid of my working in my shop. It's from the movie "Sarafina."
OH- and, somehow the video is widescreen, and apparently blogger hasn't figured out how to accommodate that yet, so if you want to see the whole frame (recommended), click the vid screen while it's playing and go watch it on youtube. (Sorry. ) Back to work!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Dizzy in the head
Hey people. What is it with Peeps?? People are into these things. After last Wed's post 2 readers sent me pics. I think we all get this first one. I like how the "customers" are all these gross, fat, blobs.
And ProRacerSam actually MADE her own diorama. There's a story behind it;
"Jeff and I decided to do an homage to his parents for Easter in the form of peep dioramas. Jeff's father, Doug, is a sufferer of celiac - so he makes these gluten free peanut butter cookies that are to die for. In fact, whenever I'm there, I eat the whole lot of them, even though they are supposedly for him. We all call them Doug Cookies. So my scene for the Easter diorama is entitled PEEP COOKIES. It's Doug and Marlene in peep form making Doug cookies in the kitchen of their Wisconsin peep home."
Wow- She got out the paints and EVERYTHING. You win Sam!
In other SueNews:
Still cranking on the artwork. I'm going to have to begin pricing in a day or two-- my least favorite part. I still have tons of ideas I won't be able to complete by Fri, but that's okay because demand is high right now, so I still need some gallery work too.
On the writing front-- major major disconnect. Actually on several fronts there is a pretty giant shift occurring. I feel like a lot of things are drifting away from me. Energy has gone out of some things. It's hard to explain, but if feels like the universe has walked up to my chalkboard, covered with the equations that run my life and picked up a giant eraser and just begun wiping it all off.
Okay-- not all (everything with Dan, and health, and family-- the basics are all fine), but major portions. When stuff like this happens it feels like I have no control over it. It's not exactly pleasant, but it is interesting. I can only assume there is some room being made for other stuff that's on it's way to me. Already my focus is shifting. I'll have to pay attention. The universe is usually pretty good at going, "No dummy, over here... LOOK," but I have to have my antenna up.
I'm even looking at this blog and questioning it's validity. I'm considering changes in content, frequency, if it's even worth continuing, basically nothing is off the table at this point. Any thoughts?
And ProRacerSam actually MADE her own diorama. There's a story behind it;"Jeff and I decided to do an homage to his parents for Easter in the form of peep dioramas. Jeff's father, Doug, is a sufferer of celiac - so he makes these gluten free peanut butter cookies that are to die for. In fact, whenever I'm there, I eat the whole lot of them, even though they are supposedly for him. We all call them Doug Cookies. So my scene for the Easter diorama is entitled PEEP COOKIES. It's Doug and Marlene in peep form making Doug cookies in the kitchen of their Wisconsin peep home."
Wow- She got out the paints and EVERYTHING. You win Sam!
In other SueNews:
Still cranking on the artwork. I'm going to have to begin pricing in a day or two-- my least favorite part. I still have tons of ideas I won't be able to complete by Fri, but that's okay because demand is high right now, so I still need some gallery work too.
On the writing front-- major major disconnect. Actually on several fronts there is a pretty giant shift occurring. I feel like a lot of things are drifting away from me. Energy has gone out of some things. It's hard to explain, but if feels like the universe has walked up to my chalkboard, covered with the equations that run my life and picked up a giant eraser and just begun wiping it all off.
Okay-- not all (everything with Dan, and health, and family-- the basics are all fine), but major portions. When stuff like this happens it feels like I have no control over it. It's not exactly pleasant, but it is interesting. I can only assume there is some room being made for other stuff that's on it's way to me. Already my focus is shifting. I'll have to pay attention. The universe is usually pretty good at going, "No dummy, over here... LOOK," but I have to have my antenna up.
I'm even looking at this blog and questioning it's validity. I'm considering changes in content, frequency, if it's even worth continuing, basically nothing is off the table at this point. Any thoughts?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Beep, Boop, Beep, Boop,
Hey people. Not a lot of time this morning. Suddenly I only have 4 days left to get ready for my show! I had one of those "unprepared" dreams the other night; I showed up to the show to find two snotty, superior acting interns had been assigned to create my booth display for me. Somehow I'd managed to forget everything. I didn't even have a pen, and people were beginning to stream in. They just rolled their eyes while I panicked.
Fortunately in real life things are going smoother, but I'll be working like a maniac right until the load-out, as is my custom.
In other SueNews:
Early spring seems here to stay where I live. It's been gorgeous out! It's been so fun getting to ride bikes again! Yesterday me and Dan rode the entire mountain bike trail for the first time all year.
All winter I've day dreamed about it, and how this year I'm going to really improve. I was so relieved and happy to feel how great Penny responded. She felt really natural, and my fear level was much lower, which really surprised me. That is by far my biggest obstacle. I still wussed on two downhills that have drops, and are steep, and have lots of rocks, but I rode some other stuff that was scary to me last year-- and no dismounts or incidents (aside from a couple close calls.) I even did a couple small wheelies going over humps or logs, trying to work up to jumping.
Things are pushing out of the ground, and buds are opening. It's an exciting time. I'm looking forward to smelling lilacs etc, and after next Sat, I'm back to no deadline. SA-WEEEEET!
Fortunately in real life things are going smoother, but I'll be working like a maniac right until the load-out, as is my custom.
In other SueNews:Early spring seems here to stay where I live. It's been gorgeous out! It's been so fun getting to ride bikes again! Yesterday me and Dan rode the entire mountain bike trail for the first time all year.
All winter I've day dreamed about it, and how this year I'm going to really improve. I was so relieved and happy to feel how great Penny responded. She felt really natural, and my fear level was much lower, which really surprised me. That is by far my biggest obstacle. I still wussed on two downhills that have drops, and are steep, and have lots of rocks, but I rode some other stuff that was scary to me last year-- and no dismounts or incidents (aside from a couple close calls.) I even did a couple small wheelies going over humps or logs, trying to work up to jumping.
Things are pushing out of the ground, and buds are opening. It's an exciting time. I'm looking forward to smelling lilacs etc, and after next Sat, I'm back to no deadline. SA-WEEEEET!
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